Making the Nazi alibi of mental illness real!

On Thanksgiving, Ursula and I headed for my parents' place where we had our usual feast. We had invited Ursula's mother to join us since Hugho was confined in the hospital and she was alone. The problems I was having were taking their toll and I was unable to enjoy myself. I was despondent and full of anxiety, and I ate very little of the Thanksgiving meal. I truly had nothing to be thankful for living in Nazi america. It was like a Jew trying to celebrate living in Nazi Germany. The inability to enjoy the holiday with my wife and family made me feel even worse.

That afternoon when Ursula's mother was about to leave, I become determined to give her a hug. As she headed toward the door, I stepped into the doorway. She stopped, looked for another exit and then stood there frozen. I walked over, gave her a hug and wished her a safe trip home.

That Monday, I returned to work in an extreme state of anxiety. I had not been sleeping well, and I was not able to concentrate on my work. Finally, I asked John Waymore if I could sse the company psychiatrist. The next day I went to see Dr. Hupalowsky. Dr. Hupalowsky appeared very nervous and he chained smoked the whole time I talke to him. I don't know if I made him nervous or if he normally was that way, but his behavior made me feel uneasy. After a short conversation, Dr. Hupalowskty gave me some Stelazine, a tranquilizer and antipsychotic agent to take to help me get some sleep. I was furious at the fact that I was being harassed to the point that I had to take medication just to function in a reasonably normal manner. I dislike taking any form of medication, and I particularly dislike taking a medication like Stelazine which can have serious side effects. But, I had to take the medication in order to function.

I was not worried about my job performance because John Waymore had assured me in our "deal" that I would always have a job at RAM even if I had a record of mental illness. Still, Dr. Stanley Arnold checked with my manager Don who confirmed that my job performance was exemplary and that I was not disruptive in the work place. I felt confident at least that part of the "bargain" was being kept. I also felt that I was doing an excellent job on the project I was working on and any attempt to threaten my job based on incompetency at that time would have been difficult to do. My real concern still remained staying alive.