Another therapist (The Rapist) living in La, La Land

My mental state was deterioring rapidly again as a result of the constant mental torture I was being subjected to at work. I desperately needed someone I could talk to without getting the answer that I was just imagining everything and that I was mentally ill. I decided to go talk to the minister of the church that Anita and I attended. I foolishly told Anita of my plan.

By now a strange thing had happened in my relationship with Anita. I trusted her again which was probably out of necessity. I began to rationalize all the things that had happened that had involved her. More importantly, she became my confidant again, and I told her things that I shouldn't have because my Nazi torturers could use the information against me. But I was so anxious that I freely talked to her. Still, I wanted someone else I could use as a sounding board.

My conversation with my minister was normal and there were no surprises. He said he could not help me and suggested I seek professional councilling. Through him, I obtained the name and address of a psychiatrist to visit. I went home and then told Anita all that had transpired which meant that "they" would know exactly what I was doing and who I was going to go see.

I started seeing Dr. Iron in July, 1979. Dr. Iron was an elderly gentleman who lived alone in a large old house in the country outside of Georgeville, NY. He had practiced psychiatry in New York City for several years and was now in the process of transferring his practice to his suburban home. In contrast to the doctors I had previously talked to, I found Dr. Steel to be very well rounded in his experiences, and I found him to be mentally alert. It became readily apparent that he was used to winning arguments with his patients. Although I had great respect for him as a person, I found him to be of little help in discussing my problems. The best indication that he would be no help to me came when after I gave him a brief synopsis of my situation he proclaimed,Now Russ, big business doesn't do things like that!" I knew at that point that Dr. Iron could never really help me or that he wouldn't really try to help me. He did prescribe Haldol, an antipsychotic agent to help me cope with my anxiety. Other than that, he was useless.

What is really interesting about Dr. Iron is that he is Jewish and had fled the original Nazi empire and changed his name. I am a little surprised that he didn't tell me to flee this Nazi empire as subsequent psychiatrists would do.