I'm Not The Only Nazi Victim

After the meeting, Anita and I walked to the parking lot together. We talked briefly, but I don't think either of us said what was really on our minds. I kept wondering how taking a job six year earlier could result in the destruction of everything in my life. There just didn't seem to be any sane reason for it yet it was happening. And that really is the key. The Nazis believed if what they did was so insane, that no one would ever believe me. The Jews had the same problem in Nazi Germany. The rest of the world couldn't believe that the original Nazis could be so insane as to attempt to exterminate all Jews. It is really strange that people who believe they are so superior to everyone else that they can do insane things and no one will believe it.

Anita tried to be nice, but every time she started to say something she started to cry. It seemed as though we both wished there were some way to get rid of the evil Nazi force that permeated our lives. We wanted to live like normal human beings again, but as long as they ruled our lives, there was nothing we could do.

In the weeks that followed, my mental state continued to deteriorate, and I began to wonder where all of this was going to end. I couldn't take being beaten indefinitely without exploding and doing something irrational. I was becoming increasingly violent. I knew that they had to know that I was becoming increasingly violent and that I might hurt or kill a fellow employee in a fit of rage. Of course, that is a common planned scenario that the Nazis frequently carry out. I kept wondering what could happen. Then, on May 28, 1982 I got my answer. It was late in the afternoon when over the PA system can the announcement.

"A former RAM employee has just crashed his car in the lobby of our Bethesda, Maryland office and he has shot and killed several employees."

I got up from my desk and walked out into the hallway so I could hear better. As I walked down the hall, I glanced at several co-workers who had congregated in the hallway to hear the announcement better. As I looked at them, they glanced back at me and then quickly starred at the floor as the announcement was repeated. No one had to say anything; the guilt on their faces said it all.

I could only guess what had happened to the man who did the shooting, but based on my experience I could understand why someone would do what had just been done. At least now I knew how far the Nazis would go to get rid of a political prisoner. I was not surprised because if my life meant so little to them, and since there was no sane, rational reason for what "they" had done to me, the life of other workers had no meaning either to the ruling elite Nazis.