What really matters to torturers.

What I found most interesting from books on the subject of menticide and torture is the profile of the people who committ such atrocities. These people have strong psychopathic/sociopathic personalities and tend to have deep psychiatric problems. They seem to be striving for immortality by depriving other people happiness and a full life. This power over other people gives them a sense of invincibility and thus raises them momentarily over what they consider their mere mortal victims. I should note that several books note that torture is a "religious" experience to many tortures, especially those in groups. And in a way, they are serving their god - Satan.

While I found the psychiatric profile of my tormentors interesting, I did not find it very encouraging because it implied that nothing would ever change these people. Besides, I had seven years of real life experience to verify that my tormentors had no interest in being normal human beings.

I continued to write letters to any group and anyone whom I thought might be able to help me. I really wasn't sure at that point what could be done, but it seemed important to me that first, somebody cared and second, that the amerikan people knew what this nation really stood for and what this amerikan system was doing to its own citizents. It was as if I was search for some hope not just for myself, but for the whole human race. At the same time, I wanted to make sure that "they" knew I was not going to stop fighting no matter what my condition was.