The Conservative Nazi View of Marriage.

As the photopoymer conference grew near, the level of harassment at work was being escalated rapidly. In addition to the harassment, a sudden change in Osama's behavior took place. The week before the conference, Osama disappeared from sight. He was never in the office in the morning or late afternoon as he usually was, and I could not finnd him in the usual places such as the library or the laboratory. There were indications from items on his desk that he was at work, but for one solid week, I did not see Osama. This sudden change in behavior served to make me think of all sorts of possible reasons for the sudden change, but one thing did seem certain; his sudden disappearance was orchestrated to coincide with the increased level of harassment from other sources at work. When I asked co-workers about Osama's presence, they all expressed ignorance. It was one of those sudden changes that caused me great anxiety (see earlier posts about the effects of changes in a prisoners environment).

Another thing that bothered me was my manager Pat's almost daily insistence that I bring my tennis stuff to the conference. The contradiction between the increased level of harassment at work and Pat's social invitation was causing me great concern. I knew that "they" would not let me play tennis in that social environment, but I couldn't understand the reason for the constant insistence that I bring my tennis gear.

I tried to continue to carry out the routine things in my life, but it was becoming more and more difficult to do with the constant harassment with which I had to live. One day Anita and I were going grocery shopping and I was talking non-stop about the events at work. Finally we pulled into the parking lot and I turned off the car.

Anita sat there for a moment silent and then said, "Do you remember what your mother talked to you about? You know, if you just decided to disappear I would understand. You don't have to leave a note or anything."

Anita started to cry, "If you didn't show up at home someday, I would know what you did." she continued. The tears were flowing down her face as she finished.

"I know", was all I could reply.