A momentary reprieve

Perhaps the most interesting thing about the psychopath/sociopath as pointed out in the interviews on "Headhunter" is that they lead double lives. Take the BTK serial killer for example. He was president of his church, a Boy Scout troop leader and a working family man. Of course, in his spare time he kidnapped people, tortured them and then killed them. And it is perfectly "reasonable" that he had to get rid of his victims because he had tortured them. I am a victim of people with that mentality. Darth Korey repeated pointed out how he was an Elder at his local church, how he gone to a psychologist to prove he was normal, and remember he invited Buzz, myself and other people to share Christmas with his family. In his spare time he and his buddies tortured people and then got rid of them. And this is acceptable in Nazi land as long as you do it for money and pleasure.

Back to my story:

In early February, Anita and I went to St. Martens for a vacation. In St. Martens my life returned to normal just as it had done when I had gone to Aruba two years earlier. There was no harassment, no roadblocks, or strange incidences. But this time there was one difference. The rage inside me was so great that I couldn't enjoy myself. Frequently I found myself yelling at and belittling Anita for almost no reason. The frustration of having my life destroyed coupled with the total lack of control of my emotions caused fits of rage and anger. I had been tortured for so long, I couldn't get my mind off of it. The fact that Anita and I fought constantly even under normal conditions meant that we had to separate. My rage was becoming so great that I couldn't control it. And as I would find out, the sicko Nazis would later try to use the rage they had created to get rid of me.

I returned to work and was immediately given a review by my new manager, Stu Miller. Stu concluded that my work was satisfactory, but he was still going to monitor my work closely. Almost as an after thought, I pointed out that I had no received a raise in eighteen months. Stu commented that I was not scheduled for a raise in the near future. I left the meeting feeling the crisis about my job was over for the moment, but I knew it would become a factor again and I was still under stress with the constant monitoring. I correctly assumed that "they" would keep my job in jeopardy for as long as possible in order to generate the maximum stress and then "they" would finally get rid of me.