Steps to starting anew.

When I wasn't working on my manuscript, I found some relaxation by going trout fishing. I would usual go in the early evening and not return back to my parents house until after dark. This kept the time I spent with my parents to a minimum. And when I was fishing, I could be at peace with the world and free from the society that I hated. However, eventually I had to return to the real world.

The use of pitting family members against each other in order to achieve fascist goals did not surprise me that much. I had read reports where the FBI frequently did this to get convictions. It was almost five years later when I was in Cuba that I saw a television documentary that showed how the South African government pitted black family members against each other in order to keep the blacks of that nation enslaved and impoverished. Apparently the division and destruction of the family is a standard tool used by oppresive capitalist nations. Interestingly, the documentary I saw was produced and narrated by amerikans, but I have never seen it nor seen any reference to it in this country. It hits too close to home.

After I had filed bankruptcy and had my car temporarily repossed, I decided that I could not wait another year to get a teaching position. I decided to try to find another job in the chemical industry. I rejoined the American Chemical Society (ACS), placed a "situation wanted" advertisement in the society's professional publication. I then made plans to attend the nation meeting at the end of August in, of all places, Washington, DC.

I also returned the call to Mr. Saunice who had called me a month earlier. Mr. Saunice represented an employment agency as I had suspected. He felt that I didn't have much of a chance of finding a job, but that there was no harm in trying. He then gave me the name of a personnel manager at the Air Products Corporation which had its headquaters withing reasonable driving distance of where I was located. I agreed that it was probably a good idea to talk to a corporate personnel manager in order to get some idea of how I was going to be received by industry. It would also serve as a rehearsal for interviews I might have at the upcoming ACS meeting.

A couple of days later, I drove to Air Products to talk to the personnel manager. I didn't know what to expect, but I was presently surprised when the man listened intently for a couple of hours. He asked probing questions and appeared to accept what I was telling him. Of course, my story may have been an eduction for him too. He finally recommended that I answer questions at the ACS meeting as honestly as possible, but that I should not dwell on the past and be as brief as possible. He concluded that I would have difficulty finding another job, but he felt that my situation was not impossible.

I left the meeting with the personnel manager feeling somewhat relieved. First, and most important, there was no clue of government intervention or ochestration during our conversation. There was none of the usual double talk or coincideces that had been used to terrorize me for so long. That was the most encouraging aspect of our conversation. I hoped for a moment anyway that maybe I could start over and begin a new life. I didn't see how that was possible given the extremely sick, evil nature of the people who had destroyed my life, but it was the only hope I had at the moment. And that was enough to keep me going.