"Please help me. I'm so depressed." I pleaded.

"I'll be right over to take you to the hospital," she said.

I hated the thought of going into the hospital again, but I didn't know what else to do. The hospital was the only place where I would be free from the daily harassment. However, as soon as I came out and went back into the work place, the torture would start up again. I really didn't care. I just couldn't take it anymore.

On the evening of December 16, 1980, Anita took me to the St. Francis hospital where I was admitted to the mental health ward on the basis that I was suicidal. What a coincidence that it was right before the Christmas holidays and remember, Dr. Iron didn't want to give me antidepressants because I wasn't depressed enought! Now I was
being volutarily confined to a hospital.

In the hospital, the sense of relief from the daily harassment was go great that I didn't mind the fact that I was imprisoned again. I had so little control over my life that I just accepted everything the way any beaten prisoner must learn to accept the dictates of his captors.

On the second day at the hospital, Dr. Padua saw me. Dr. Padua was an attractive Indian female who had a very quiet, easy-going diposition. In my initial interview with her, I didn't even try to explain that I was there because of four years of incessant mental torture. I just stated that I was depressed and felt paranoid.

I was put on a high dosage of Haldo again and a new antidepressant, Ascendin. I warned the doctors and nurses that I had a high sensitivity to drugs, but my warnings were ignored. Of course I was crazy; what would I know. After a couple of days, I began to exhibit all forms of side effects. When I complained to the nurses, I was told the side effects were "normal". On the fifth day I awoke with the strange sensation that I wanted to swallow my tongue. At first I ignored it, but within thirty minutes the sensation became so strong I was beginning to choke. I informed the nurses and a doctor and they told me to go lie down. I went to my room and lied down, but the symptoms got worse. Suddenly I went into convulsions and started choking. Another patient rushed to get a nurse who came rushing to my room. Finally a second nurse showed up and gave me a shot to counteract the drugs I was taking. Within five minutes the convulsions and choking stopped. After that episode, the nurses and doctors believed me when I said I was sensitive to the drugs and they carefully monitored my medications.

The lack of external stimuli coupled with my desire to get out of the hospital before Christmas resulted in a marked improvement in my condition. I was no longer
suicidal, but I was a long way from felling well. Dr. Padua also felt I had made remarkable progress and she agreed to release me the day before Christmas. The conditions of my release were that I did not return to work until after the first of the year and that I continue to see Dr. Agrawal. I agreed and was released after a one week stay in the hospital.

Anita joined me for Christmas at my parents house and after spending several days there, Anita, Nuisance and I returned to our home. Our "family" was back in tack, and I was home again.

My experience has taught me that the Nazi government really despises the family unit because it provides support for people and it give them a strong foundation. This makes people less susceptible to Nazi propaganda and indoctrination. And I truly believe that the ruling fascists have caused a break down in "family values" in amerika. And I'm not the first or only person who believes this.