A natural loss in my life vs a Nazi government created loss.

With everything going so badly, it only seemed appropriate that Nuisance became very sick. Whenever I would get down or needed some solitude, I would take Nuisance for a walk. It always had a soothing effect on me, but in March, 1981 she became sick from what the vetrinarian diagnosed as cancer of the liver. Her health deteriorated rapidly and on April 8 she had to be destroyed. We had owned Nuisance for fourteen years and her death was a great loss. In a normal situation I would have been sad, but my built up anger made it impossible for me to grieve the loss of our pet. What made me even more angry was that I was being tortured so much that I couldn't really feel the loss of something that meant so much to me. In effect, I had become a bit like my torturers in that I couldn't feel things. As I will show later on, my tormentors tried to get me to do despicable acts(sometimes with success), just to convince themselves that all humans are subhuman scum like they are. I think it made them feel good to make their victims act in a base manner like them.
Of course, no one was brutally torturing them; a point that I'm sure escaped them.

The constant harassment and torture had so dominated my life that nothing else seemed important. But with the loss of Nuisance I lost one of the few comforting things in my life that I was still able to enjoy.

I continued to see Dr. Padua, but I was becoming more and more disenchanted with her. Like her predecessors she talked in generalities and whenever I tried to address a specific incident or issue she would sidmiss it as if the topic were trivial. We frequently discussed my wife and Dr. Padua would quickly point out that I should be happy because Anita would soon be going back to work at a higher salary.

"They will never allow me to share in her income. I can't look forward to that," I explained. I don't even know if I'll have a marriage six months from now."

"Why you have lots to look forward to," was her reply.

I knew "they" would not allow me the luxury of having economic relief in the form of two good incomes, and I assumed their solution would be to destroy the marriage to keep me from having the security of my wife's income. But any attempt to carry our a discussion like that would have brought an immediate, "There is no one trying to destroy you."

I just heard on TV tonight that China has a new weapon that can wipe out an amerikan aircraft carrier from long range. I guess there is "good news" if you look for it. Such a weapon if it exists would cancel amerika's domination and terror on the high seas. However, this was on FOX news so it may just be Nazi propaganda designed to keep amerikans in a state of fear and war mongering.

Most amerikans don't realize that the Nazi state uses the media for what they call "misinformation campaigns". That term is a euphemism for PROPAGANDA. In rare cases, the President(RR for one) has had to admit that threats by foreign entities that were propagaded by the media were nothing more than misinformation campaigns.