Jealousy - generating another strong emotion.

The next day Anita came home from school and said we had been invited to have dinner with the Van Dorens. Anita had met Jane Van Doren at school and they had become good friends. Since we had been to dinner a month earlier with Jane and her husband Dick, who was a RAM employee, the invitation did not seem all that surprising. For some reason that I could not figure out, I was still allowed to socialize with my wife and her friends. I was so happy to have the opportunity to socialize, I readily accepted the invitation.

That evening as I was getting dressed, I had a drink of scotch to help me calm down. Then as we were just about ready to leave, I poured myself another drink, I took one sip of the drink, sat it down on the kitchen counter and went back to the bedroom to get my coat. As I came walking back into the kitchen I saw Anita putting an empty glass back on the counter.

"Why did you pour my drink out?" I asked.

"I didn't," she answered. "It was empty."

"What do you mean?" I asked angrily. "I just poured that drink."

I knew Anita was lying, but I assumed she just didn't want me getting drunk.

The dinner at the Van Doren's was not very enjoyable. Dick barely spoke to me which was a direct contrast to the last time we got together. Meanwhile Jane and Anita spent a couple of hours sitting at the dinner table talking about school. In particular, they kept talking about how much Anita's fencing instructor liked her. Jane was particularly insistent on talking about how much he kept making a play for Anita. I found the conversation annoying and the longer the conversation dwelt on that subject the more I began to wonder if the whole topic hadn't been arranged to create the strong emotion of jealousy in me. I did not doubt for one minute that the fencing instructor found Anita attractive. This type of scenario is one the Nazi government would repeat over and over in the future. Jealousy is a strong emotion and the object was to keep my emotions running out of control. As we sat at the dinner table, Bill poured a second glass of wine for everybody except me. It was like he was trying to keep me from drinking too much just the way Anita had done prior to leaving our house.

Finally we went to the living room. We sat down and then Dick insisted that I have a beer. I seldom drank beer, but after he kept badgering me about having a beer, I relented. Dick went to the kitchen for a short time and then came back with a beer already poured into a glass. I drank the beer while listening to Jane and Anita continue their conversation. As soon as I finished the beer, Anita stood up and announced it was time for us to leave. I looked at my watch and saw it was only eleven o'clock, but Anita insisted we leave immediately. I got up and left reluctantly. When I got to the car, I asked Anita why she was in such a hurry to leave. She just ignored me.

The drive home was about thirty minutes and about half way home I started to get very sleepy.

"Boy, I'm getting sleepy all of a sudden."

"I'll drive if you want me to," Anita offered enthusiastically.

"No that's all right. I can make it home."

As we continued my head began to nod and I was finding it more and more difficult to stay awake.

"Damn it! I've been drugged! I can't stay awake."

Ursula said nothing at first and then offered to drive again. We were almost home so I continued. I pulled into the garage and rushed upstairs to the bedroom. I ripped my clothes off, fell onto the bed and passed out.

If you tell a lie often enough, people will believe it - A basic Nazi Tenet.

That Wednesday I went to see Dr. Iron with Anita. I was still very anxious and knew what Dr. Iron was going to tell me. Still, I had to do something to relieve all of the stress that I was experienceing. Dr. Iron was very predictable and he spent a half an hour tell me how sick I was. More importantly, he spent the entire hour trying to convince me that I should believe I was sick. At one point I brought up an incident which had occurred and had no rational explanation. I was not going to buy the argument that my problems were internal.

"Boy you are stubborn!" Dr. Iron declared. Then he turned to Anita and said, "he is schizophrenic and paranoid and has a split personality."

Two things ran through my mind. First, I really wondered if Dr. Iron truly believed what he was saying and second, I thought about how much my condition had deteriorated since I had been in the hospital - you remember the confinement where I was heavily sedated and then told to sign my sworn testamony. When I was in the hospital, Dr. Bardopolous had refused to say I was schizophrenic. But, I had suffered another ten months of abuse and torture since then. Dr. Iron spent the rest of the session talking to Anita and continually asked her how she was holding up. I left the session with the same impasse I had always been confronted with. I was suppose to be mentally ill, and no one was going to support any other position regardless of how much evidence I had that I was being persecuted. Logic and rational had no place in my world.

It is important to note that in general, mind control and indoctrination relies almost completely on the victim(s) only hearing on constant theme. In my case, the only statements I could hear was that I was mentally ill - no one could say anything different if I was to believe it. I can tell you that years later when the Nazi government gave up on trying to convince me that I was mentally ill, psychiatrists in both this country and in other countries agreed that I had been brutally mentally tortured in order to drive me insane and to convince me that I was insane. That is why I believe people like Dr. Iron should be publically executed for crimes against humainty just like the original Nazis were executed. I have no compassion for people like him. He is an abomination to the human race and is no better than the psychopaths who were torturing me.

Isolation follows the extreme terrorism.

That weekend we visited my parents. When we arrived, as I got the suitcases from the car, I noticed Anita rushing into the house. I wondered why she was in such a hurry. As I entered the house, I saw Anita pulling my mother into the dining room. As she got my mother into the other room, anita almost was yelling in panic, "He doesn't believe it!" Anita looked up and saw me standing there and quickly released her grip on my mother.

I was in such a state anxiety and fear that the weekend at my parents did little to help me relax. I spent Saturday watching TV and walking the dog, but nothing could get my mind off my problems.

On Sunday I watched some football and tried to find someway to relax, but my fears and concerns were overwhelming. More than anything, I was worried about the depression which was to follow as a result of the induced high and increased adrenalin flow. That afternoon I went to the cupboard to get my mother's antidepressants. I was surprised to find them gone.

"What happened to the antidepressants you had in here?" I asked my mother.

"Oh, I was cleaning out the cupboard and threw them out," my mother replied.

"Damn it! I need them. When I come down from this orchestrated high I am going to be so depressed and "they" won't let the doctors give me anything for the depression. I guess "they" will wait until I'm so depressed nothing will help me and then they'll give me medication."

"Well I can't help you. I threw them out," was my mother's reply.

I was even suspicious of the pills being gone. My mother never threw prescription drugs out. The pill and ointments in her cabinets in the bathrooms were very old. If she had just thrown them out, she had extremely poor timing. Now I had no choice but to go to the doctors, and I knew that was an integral part of the plan. How can you document that somebody is mentally ill if he doesn't see a doctor?

Since I was too upset and scared to go into work on Monday, I called in sick. Prior to Gamma Supplies and RAM, I had never called into work for a sick day unless I was really very sick.

The next day I went to work and when I walked into my office, all of my things were gone. I rushed into Pat's office and demanded an explanation. Pat told me to calm down and then said, "When you were out yesterday we moved you into a new office." I'll show you where it is. For the time being, you'll be alone in this office until we find someone to move in with you."

My new office was a definite step down in status. The office I had shared with the Nazi scumbag Osama was on the outside wall with a window, and it had easy access to the laboratory and the secretarial pool office. My new office was and inner office with no window and it was totally inaccessible. You needed a road map to find it and unless you were specifically looking for that particular office, a person wouldn't even know the room was there. I joked about the fact that the other two offices in the area were occupied by a black and an Indian and that I was being put with the rest of the "minorities".

I had been told prior to the conference that Osama wanted a new office partner, but my response had been to let Osama move since I had a higher ranking, it should be my choice. The fact that I was moved instead of Osama reinforced the fact that I had no say in controlling my environment.

One of the many that cause my to hate this Nazi state to this very day is how the Nazis continually show favor to foreign born and people who I believe were non-citizens. Osama and his Asian buddy Hun Wong both eventually got transferred to a desirable west coast RAM facillity. Many natural born US citizens I worked with had tried for years to get transferred there, but these two foreign born Nazi lovers got transferred after a few short years. This preference to non US born workers was prevelant throughout my ordeal. Given my experience it is no wonder there are so many foreign born and illegal immigrants in this Nazi state. Remember immediately after 9/11, the Nazi government assisted Saudi citizens to safely leave the country.

Nazi America's love of destruction.

The ruling Fascists knew that the increasing my wife's role in their terrorizism and mental torture mechinations that "they" were ending my marriage. And in fact, later we did get divorced SOULEY BECAUSE OF THE NAZI GOVERNMENT'S TERRORISM. Whenever the corporate state attacks an individual to hide crimes from the american public, the stress created almost always leads to divorce and the destruction of the invidual's marriage. If you watch the DVD "The Insider" starring Russell Crowe as Jeffery Wigand, you will see how quickly Mr. Wigand's marriage ended once the Nazi attacks began. All Jeffery Wigand wanted to do was tell the american people how much data existed about the addictive, harmful effects of cirgarette smoking. Of course the Nazi corporate state didn't want that information out, so destruction of individual became "necessary". You can imagine how much the fascist state wants to keep their trial rigging hidden. And for sure, they don't want americans to know how the TORTURE citizens for fun and profit.

Also by attacking my marriage, the Nazis knew that if I did survive their attacks, I would probably never marry again, at least not an american woman. And by eliminating my marrying someone else, they guaranteed that I would never have children, which meant the Nazi rulers wouldn't have to worry about justice seeking off-spring in the future. Of course, all this points to the fact the Nazis just wanted to get rid of me.

Which brings me to the next point which is the american government seems to only be good at one thing - DESTRUCTION! Destruction of countries, individuals, and all that is decent and good. The Nazi state's approach to anything is DESTRUCTION FIRST. Look at Vietnam. Remember the Nazi american slogan, "We must destroy Vietnam to save it!" Of course, the Vietnam people prevaled, kicked america out and now some 40 years later, is doing quite well. The people and government rebuilt the country without american intervention. And they did it without Nazi america oppression, tyranny and exploitation.

Look at Iraq. The difference in Iraq before the american destruction and after is unbelievable. There is total destruction of the infrastructure and the destruction of millions of Iraqi lives either through death or exile. And of course, 40-50 years from now when the country recovers from all the destruction, Nazi america will proudly proclaim how "america rebuilt Iraq." And by then america will have drained most of Iraq's oil supply.

Oh well, the next post I will get back to the destruction of my life.

How Insane are the leaders of Nazi America?

With the safety and serenity of being home, I began to reflect on the events which had transpired. The fear and anxiety were now turning to anger. I started yelling at Anita.

"I can't believe "they" can still think they can convince me I'm mentally ill. This is just like something out of '1984'. The totalitarian state terrorizes a person until the victim says what the state wants him to say. IT'S STUPID!(see the previous post about power and stupidity). They have to be insane to conceive such a plan. They are really sick and they don't care or have any desire to change their course. Their script says I have to be mentally ill and believe it or they will keep terrorizing me until they kill me."

Then I turned to Anita. "And you, how could you do those things? How can you live with yourself?"

Anita was sitting on the bed with her head in her hands. She cried out, "How can things go so wrong? It's not suppose to be like this!"

"I know," I continued. "I'm suppose to believe I'm mentally ill and that none of this is happening. They are SICK!"

Anita just sat there with a hopeless look on her face and listened to me rant and rave.

"They jerk me around emotionally and terrorize me to make me psychotic and then they have my loving wife convince me to see a doctor so he can tell me how insane I am. How can anyone be so stupid(see my previous post on power and stupidity). How can anyone believe that would work? God they are sick. Do you realize how depressed I'm going to be when I come down from this adrenalin induced high? With all the adrenalin that's flowing now, when it stops I'll be so depressed. And they won't give me any antidepressants because "they" want me good and depressed to make it look real. Remind me when we go up to my parents to ask my mother for the anti-depressants she keeps in the cupboard. I have to have something to fight the depression when I come crashing down." (I can only guess that my mother was depressed because of my problems with the Nazi government.)

Anita said nothing.

NOTES: One of the problems my sick captors had was that I knew almost everything they were going to do before thay did it. I had told Anita some two and a half years earlier when we were leaving Gamma Supplies that "they" would say I was mentally ill. That is how "they" would hide their federal trial rigging scheme. What my ordeal demonstrates is that when you are up against overwhelming power, there is no way to defend yourself. The only "rational" route I ever had was to kill some of the son-of-bitches before they could create a paper trail of "mental illness". It was the only rational route left to me. If you read this and truly understand how Nazi America works, then workers who shot up their work place and suicide bombers in Iraq and other countries, don't seem so irrational. The victims are taking the only route other than surrender that is available to them. And the victims have to do it, otherwise the sick Nazis win. It is the victims only way out.

Nazi Insanity - or how to hide your crimes.

We arrived at the banquet hall late and there were only a few seats left. As a result we were forced to sit at a table where there were only non-RAM employees. After the meal there was a speech, but I was too nervous to sit through it so Anita and I headed back to the room. On the way back to the room, I talked to Anita about going to the show at the club later that evening and possibly meeting some of my co-workers. Anita argued against it by saying she was too tired to go. She was determined not to go and socialize with my co-workers.

When we got back to the room we both fell asleep on the bed. About an hour later, I awoke and woke up Anita. I tried to get Anita up to get dressed for the club show, but she would not budge. I knew she must have been told to avoid sociallizing and this was her way to avoid it. Finally I was just too exhausted to fight with her anymore and I decided to just go back to sleep. Just as started to drift off I was awaken by the sound of running/dripping water. I got up and checked the bathroom and found nothing. The source seemed to be from an adjacent room, but it was hard to tell from where the sound was coming. The sound had not been there the previous night, and I wondered if the noise was not designed to keep me awake. Denying a person sleep is a common torture technique and "they" had used sleep deprivation before when I was at CoSteal and was phsically very sick. Whatever the source, it continued all night and I got very little sleep.

The next morning I could tell by the way Anita looked that she had not slept well either. Since I had to leave early to catch some seminars, we skipped breakfast. After a month of badger me, Anita had joined me at the conference and the only purpose it served was to cause me a lot of anxiety. It was all so well orchestrated to make me have a psychotic episode and now someone could tell me again how sick I was. I couldn't help but thinking the really sick people, my captors and tormentors were not getting any treatment. Anita left and I assured her I would be home late that afternoon.

After Anita left, I attended the rest of the lectures, but I had no interest in them. All I could thing about was the events that had happened and I wondered what other horrors "they" had in store for me.

The lectures ended at noon, but the conference officially ended in the late afternoon. This gave the attendees some time to use the recreational facilities. I was hoping to get some exercise to help relieve the stress, but as I expected Pat had not said a word to me about playing tennis. Since I had my sneakers with me the best way to avoid playing tennis with me was to totally ignore me. Early that afternoon I went looking for the tennis courts. When I located them, there was Pat and several other RAM employees playing. The all saw me, said a perfunctory "hi". but no one invited me to play. Since no one was going to ask me to play, I asked a couple of players who were standing around the courts if they wanted to hit some balls. They all declined. Since I was not going to play tennis, I decided to head home.

I headed home in a state of anxiety and apprehension. Apparently the conference and the time leading up to it had been used to create as much of a psychotic state as possible with the means available to my tormentors while at the same time have it look as though I was just mentally ill. For a moment or two I thought about driving off and just trying to hide like Anita had urged me to do. But I knew that was a worthless idea because my captor/tormentors would just find me and I would be faced with the same problems. Running and then having to face the same problems would just strengthen the position that I was mentally ill.

On the way home, I suddenly decided to stop in at the RAM office building and check my mail. Since it was still early in the afternoon, I had plenty of time to stop and still make it home by supper time. I went to my office and sorted through my mail. There was nothing of interest in the mail so I put it in my desk and headed out of the building. As an after thought, I decided to take a tour of the laboratory and see what was going on. As I entered the lab, there working at the bench in a white lab coat was Osama! In the preceeding year I had never seen Osama in the lab and I had never seen him in a white lab coat. In fact the only time I had seen him in the lab was when he was doing his marching through campaign that ended when I threatened to punch him out. And I hadn't seen him at all for at least two weeks before the conference. Now, when I showed up totally unexpectedly, there was Osama working in the lab. There were no other people in the lab. It seemed my absence from the lab had brought about a sudden change in Osama's behavior just as Buzz at Gamma Supplies had changed his behavior when I showed up at the fitness club unexpectedly. It clearly demonstrated how my environment was being carefully controlled and manipulated to create false beliefs and images. Or as my Nazi tormentors wanted to call it, my "mental illness".

I quickly left the laboratory and went home. I entered the house and went upstairs to the living room where Anita was standing, facing the fireplace. She turned around and I saw tears running down her cheecks.

"I was afraid that you weren't coming home," she said.

I hugged her and said "I know. I thought about running, but it wouldn't do any good. They have too much power and it would just be playing into their hands."

"It is so good to have you home," Anita said between sobs.

"I want to go up to my parents and get away from here this weekend. I had better call them and let them know we are coming."

"I called Dr. Iron. You have an appointment for next Wednesday evening"

"OK, I'll go," That's what the sick bastards want." I answered.

Note: The events leading up to and including the conference show the extent to which the Nazis who run this country will go to cover up their own insanity. And the fact that they would destroy anyone and everyone including my wife shows the extreme evil which these people are. It also solidified the best definition of POWER that I have ever heard. POWER IS THE ABILITY TO BE AS STUPID AND/OR INSANE AS YOU WANT TO BE. I was constantly amazed at the stupidity of these people. From the rigging of the federal trial to the belief that I would run in an effort to escape them or that they could convince me I was crazy. I knew I didn't have the resources to run from them(the Nazi American Government), but they believed they could get me to run and do some self- destructive action. That is, they could be as stupid/insane as they wanted to be because they had so much power that I couldn't do anything about it.

And whenever these ruling elitists do something stupid, it is the innocent, powerless people who pay a tremendous price. Look at how many innocent people have died in Iraq and Afgahnastan. No one ever says it, but it must have taken some really stupid decisions to sink GM. And look who pays the price - the working people. And the powerful ruling elite make big money for being stupid and powerful. And the biggest crime that you or I can do as a member of the slave/working class is call the emperor naked!