Publish or Perish?!

One of the offers to publish was from a reputable pay-for-publish book company. In other words, they will publish your book if you pay them. Then it is up to you to distribute and sell the book. The cost was ten thousand dollars for one thousand copies. The company offered to do the editing and professional hard cover binding. Actually the offer wasn’t that bad, but 1) I didn’t have the necessary money (remember, I was chosen as a victim because I came from a poor background and had spent 1.5 of the last six years unemployed) and 2) I had no way to distribute and sell the book. And this was before the age of the internet.

The second offer was from a legitimate publishing company in Canada. I’m sure the Canadians would have been a good audience for a book about the fascist state's use of mental torture/terrorism since some Canadians had successfully sued the CIA (Cowardly Idiots Association) for mental torture experiments carried out on Canadians. Even back in the 60’s and 70’s the CIA exported torture to foreign countries. And I’ll bet you that you thought they only did that after 9/11!!! So the Canadian publishing company had some potential.

There were a couple of major problems with the Canadian offer. First, the company indicated it would take about two years for the book to actually be in print because they had a backlog of manuscripts. I didn’t think The Crazies would be willing to wait around for two years while I published a book about how sick they are. I knew I couldn’t survive that long under my current conditions.

Second, The Crazies would not allow the truth to be published even by a Canadian company. As I had pointed out on several occasions, other fascist victims that did publish books claimed that the CIA had either ghost written the book or had significantly edited the final version to present a favorable impression of the fascist state. A standard publishing contract gives the publishing company final and total editorial control. By the time The Crazies would get done editing my book, I would look like a crazy person who fantasized the whole thing.

Let me give you an example. I met a former Intelligence Officer in one of the military branches who was sitting at a table in a mall selling his book. He had gotten in a dispute with the government over his leaving the military and collecting his pension. He ended up having the same type of problems I was having and eventually he began drinking heavily. In order to survive he ended up writing a book about alcoholism and how it had destroyed his career. And once he acknowledged that his problems were a result of alcoholism and not the fascist state, he was allowed to publish his book and tell the world about the evil of alcoholism. However, once he knew I was a political prisoner, he took me aside and told me all about the horrors of fighting the fascist state and all the problems he had with them. And he was very bitter about it. The result was that the fascist scumbags had beaten him until, in order to survive, he decided he would tell the lie the fascist state wanted him to present: a person whose problems were all created by his excessive drinking. It is exactly how they had beaten me in order to get me to tell the world how crazy I was, if I managed to survive the beatings and still be alive and had not been driven insane. ("We will terrorize you to a permanent state of insanity").

It is important to understand that this man was driven to drink and had become an alcoholic just as I and any torture victim has periods where they lose their mind. But the underlying problem was fascist state torture and terrorism which eventually causes any victim to submit to some weakness.

You meet a lot of interesting people when people know you are a torture victim. Keep reading because there’s a lot more to come.

Alternatives were few

As a result of all the stress I was kept under and my poor health, I knew my days at Estron Chemical were numbered. I continued to work on my manuscript, but I was encountering problems there too. I had left a copy of chapter one with a typist in Pennsylvania to have it retyped and semi-edited in order to have an edition of the chapter good enough to submit to publishing houses. I should have received the typed material a couple of weeks after I arrived in Paducah, but instead it took over two months of constant badgering before I finally received Chapter 1.

There were several major problems with getting my manuscript about fascist terrorism published. The first problem was to finding a publishing company that would publish the truth about this fascist state. Second, I was a nobody. Publishing companies publish books written by or about famous people. Having a recognizable name SELLS. And selling is the third and biggest problem. Think about the books you have read. Why did you buy them? Probably because the fascist media wrote an article about the book or the author, or a TV talk show had the author on to discuss the book, or maybe you saw it on some best sellers list. There are well known techniques for getting on best sellers lists and they usually involve points one and two. When you walk into a book store or now days go online what books catch your attention. In the store it is the prominently displayed item that catches your eye. In other words, the fascist corporations control what you are exposed to and what you eventually read. What you read is in effect "fascist state controlled.

Then there was also the problem of getting a copyright. In the 80's, it was more difficult to get a copyright on a manuscript than it is today. And, of course, the issuing of a copyright is government controlled. I was however able to overcome this obstacle by obtaining a Canadian copyright. Most countries have reciprocal agreements to recognize copyrights from other nations which meant having a Canadian copyright gave me copyright protection in the US.

Despite all of these obstacles, I was still able to get two offers to publish my manuscript.

Iniquitous conspiracy against the Citizen

Less obvious forms of this type of harassment involved placing papers, bulletins and other business related items in stacks of papers I would leave on my desk. At some point, I would be shuffling through the stack looking for some particular item and out would fall this mystery item. If I accused anyone of deliberately hiding the item in the stack, I would only be confirming my "paranoid state".

Naturally, there were times when I would legitimately misplace an item and blame someone else for having taken it. This only served to confirm my obvious unstable mental state.

The missing and then reappearing items was not limited to my work environment. As described before, the same thing occurred frequently in my apartment and also in my car. In one instance, I went through my wallet and removed all the items out of the money compartment. I then placed the wallet back in the glove compartment of my car where I always kept it (note, I no longer do that). About a week later, I was going to place a business card in my wallet, and when I opened the money compartment, to my surprise, I found a stack of old charge slips from when I had lived in Florida some eighteen(18) months earlier!!

It would seem totally absurd to most people that The Crazies, or anyone else for that matter would go to the trouble of collecting purchase receipts, save them for over a year and then place them in a conspicuous place just to terrorize me. But, the point of the fascist state terrorism was suppose to be so irrational that it would be unbelievable. Later I'll relate incidences that show that The Crazies actually stalked me minute by minute.

It is amazing that The Crazies knew within days that I had cleaned out my wallet. The degree to which I was being kept under surveillance was to me, unbelievable. I just couldn't imagine that I was that dangerous of a person to this country and The Crazies. To The Crazies, my importance far exceeded anything I could imagine. There was nothing that I did that The Crazies didn't know about. Again, your tax dollars at work - no wonder there is a budget deficit because I'm sure there are thousands of other victims like me. I personally have met approximately a dozen of them in my travels.

"Greedy Bastards" Amerika as it is today. Not your conditioned beliefs.

The fact that Stanley's unreasonable demands was probably part of the government's unrelenting campaign to keep me highly stressed was accented during one of Stanley's visits to the plant site during the second week of April. The first thing Stanley did was take me into his office and promptly tell me he was cutting my salary by 20% or six thousand dollars a year! He knew I couldn't resign and that I had no way to refute his claim that "he couldn't afford to pay my salary."

Shortly after that, I began to wonder if Stanley and his SBS company wasn't some sort of front company. Stanley was an immigrant from communist Poland and he seemed to have a lot of connections. The fact that the government through SS was subsidizing his hiring me, made me wonder who was sponsoring him.

In the many years since I worked for Estron, I have run into or read about numerous immigrants from communist countries that seem to get preferential treatment and mysterious economic support. I don't know if these people worked for the CIA before coming to this country, but they all seem to have unusual connections and support for
someone who has not been in this country very long. All I know is that if industry and government did the same for it's own citizens, amerikans would be a lot better off. Remember Buzhoha from Iran at Gamma Supplies, Osama Ikill from the Middle East at RAM, and now Stanley at Estron. And of course all of these people hate the country from which they came. And a major characteristic of The Crazies is their unbridled hatred.

Regardless of what was behind Stanley's action, he was really shafting me. I was working better that 60 hours a week under abominable conditions and he was cutting my salary by 20%.

Of course, I still had to deal with constant forms of harassment similar to that I had experienced at RAM and Gamma Supplies. One scenario involved the missing items game which many mentally ill people report and which also was occurring in my apartment. Some incidences were blatantly obvious examples of deliberate harassment. I kept an abundant supply of pens in my desk drawer, and little by little they would just disappear. At first a few missing pens did not bother me, but eventually it reached a point where I was completely out of pens and I would have to borrow a pen when I wanted to write something down. Confirmation that the missing pens was a deliberated attempt to play with my mind occurred one morning when I came into work, opened my desk and found most or all of my missing pens in plain view. Now one claimed to have any knowledge of how the pens got there.

This simple form of harassment is based on well known psychological experiments which have been shown to cause nervous breakdowns in subject animals. The subject animal (I was nothing more than an animal to the sick scumbags) is conditioned to respond to an obvious stimuli(miss pens), and then the subject animal is subjected to less obvious stimuli(a missing item here and there). The net result is the subject animal becomes confused and neurotic. This was the aim of my tormentor, The Crazies. Confused thinking is a primary characteristic of schizophrenic behavior.

"Greedy Bastards" - The US as it really is. Read the book.

Since the heat in the lab. had finally been turned on, I did not have to work in the cold until a few days after I started coughing when the heat was turned off again. I tried to find out how to turn it back on, but was not successful. Herb and Marge didn't seem to have any knowledge about why the heat was off again in the lab.

The heat remained off for about two weeks and not once did Herb or Marge make any comments about the lack of heat or about my cold and cough. The temperature in the lab during the day would reach a high of about 50-55 degrees which was not much warmer than the temperature outside. After approximately two weeks without heat, the heating system went back on. The two weeks of working in the cold did not help my already poor health.

What I considered the fascist state's attempt to exacerbate my declining health took more subtle forms than just turning on the heat. Suddenly, Stanley began to make all sorts of unreasonable demands that required extensive effort on my part. He would demand that all lab work be completed before a production run in the plant. He would then schedule a production run a few days out so that I had to work all weekend to meet the deadline. At one point, I had worked twelve consecutive days which included several sixteen hour days. Needless to say, the long hours left me exhausted and made any hope for recovery from my physical illness impossible.

No End To the torture and terrorism is sight.

The fascist state also continued to thwart my efforts to document their atrocities. I had taken some of PART ONE of my manuscript for typing before I had left Pennsylvania, but some six weeks later, I still had not received the typed material. Six weeks to type some fifty pages of manuscript seemed abnormally long to me. Finally, I wrote an angry letter to my sister to whom I had given the responsibility of paying for and mailing to me the completed work and told her I wanted the typed material immediately. Two weeks later, I received the typed pages in the mail. I couldn't help but believe that The Crazies had delayed the typing of the manuscript as long as they reasonably could in order to prevent me from sending it to publishing companies.

It was the second week of March, when my worst fear was realized. I became ill with a deep chest cough, a head cold and fever. I had been concerned that if I became really sick while I was working, I would not be able to recover because of all the stress. Now I was faced with that possibility.

If I had any doubts at all about what the fascist state's intentions where, they were quickly dispelled shortly after I became ill. About two days after I started coughing at work, heat which had finally been turned on, was turned back off. As usual, no one could explain why the heat was no longer available.