Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Take a Break

I'll return later this week or after the holidays.  Enjoy the time off.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

How conditioning works. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE

The other revealing conversation occurred when I was being interviewed by two representatives from the Interior Ministry.  For about twenty minutes, there was nothing unusual in their questions.  Then the man sitting across from me to my left, started to ask another question in English.  Suddenly the man started rambling and in general was talking nonsense as the american fascists had done many times.  I couldn't figure out what he was trying to ask and at the same time I could feel the FASCIST CONDITIONED RESPONSE taking place.  Suddenly I was fearful, my pulse rate rapidly increased and I could feel myself become defensive.  As fast as my physiological response was to the that man's question, my fear completely disappeared when the other man sitting across from me interrupted and addressed his coworker by saying, "What you just said is total nonsense.  You didn't even ask a clear question."

What made my fear response disappear was the fact that I knew I had a friend and harassment either by accident or deliberate, would not be tolerated.  I felt safe!  No one was allowed to attack me.  How non-american.  And that was the only time during my stay in Cuba, did anyone trigger a conditioned response.  To this day, I do not know what made the man from the  Interior Ministry trigger my conditioned response.  Was he an amerikan agent?  Was he testing me or did he just get confused for a moment?  I don't know, but it was the only incident and the conditioned response had been quickly extinguished.

That is how conditioning works.  For example, if someone had seen my response to a phone ringing back when there was the clapper/bell ring, their opinion would have been that I was being totally irrational.  What they would not have seen was that for seven years  I had been had harassed 24/7/365 by terrorizing phone calls.  Behavioral conditioning is how The Crazies try to drive a person to a "permanent state of insanity".  And there are still today sick bastards who serve the fascist's by trying to trigger the conditioning I've been subjected to.  And I have zero, compassion for those people and if they dropped over dead tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear for those scumbags.

Perhaps even worse, the are therapists who are spreading the concept that tortured people like myself should be able to overcome the terrorism and just pretend that nothing has happened when someone attacks me.  For those people I believe they should be taken to the town center, executed and hung there for everyone to see what happens to people who spread such evil and sickness.  Maybe that's a little rash, but at times I feel that way.  I no longer have any tolerance for people who spread Nazi evil.

My anger surfaces when I think about how normal my life was in Cuba and how distorted it is at times while in amerika.  It is like day and night.  But only victims of The Crazies sickness can understand and appreciate my comments.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

My flight to Havana left Mexico City and had a short stop in Merida on the Yucatan peninsula.  The next stop was the Jose Marti airport in Havana.  We landed with no incidents, I departed the plane and headed to customs.

I will skip the details of the events as they occurred, but I will point out that I became a guest of the Cuban government and fortunately did not have to spend any money.  All of my accommodations, meals and any other expenses were provided for me which was a good thing since I later learned the amerikan fascist state had made it illegal to spend US dollars in Cuba.

Two things stood out as I observed the events that occurred while I was in Cuba.  First, the people there, on the average appear to be much happier that the average amerikan.   The people seemed to have a sense of what was important and they were not obsessed with having and possessing "things".  Second, I was amazed at how similarly the control and everyday running of the country was to that in the US.

My first week in Cuba was spent being interviewed and interrogated by different government departments and people.  I was interviewed by military/intelligent officers, representatives from the Interior Ministry(equivalent to US State Department), and psychiatrists.  It was an interesting and stressful experience out of which two conversation vividly remain with me today because they related directly to my situation in amerika.

The first occurred when I was being interview by two psychiatrists.  They were asking the usual questions psychiatrists ask when I abruptly stopped them.  (All interviews were held in English)

I asked them straights out, "Am I Crazy?"

The response was instantaneous.  "ABSOLUTELY NOT!  YOU HAVE BEEN BRUTALLY TORTURED!"

At this point, you have a clear picture of how mind control and indoctrination really works.  I had been told by everyone for 10 years that I was crazy.  And after hearing only the fascist government allowed opinion for that long, I was beginning to doubt my own sanity and I started to argue with the two Cuban psychiatrists.

"But there are things I can't even talk about without breaking down and crying (family for example)", I argued.

"Well for a person in a normal environment that would not be an acceptable response, but for a person in your situation and environment that is a perfectly NORMAL reaction," was the psychiatrist's response.

Now I KNEW that I wasn't crazy, but after ten years of hearing nothing but the opposite, I was beginning to doubt my own sanity.

What this incident demonstrated was that if you only hear one thing with no opposing view, and you hear it often enough, you will begin to believe it whether what you believe is true or not.  Now look at how most amerikans from the day they are born, only hear that amerika stands for freedom, liberty and justice.  Seldom if never a contrary word is heard by the average amerikan.  So what is an amerikan going to believe?  Whether it is true or NOT, they are going to believe amerika represents freedom, liberty and justice.  That is how mind control, indoctrination and propaganda works.  And once the person is indoctrinated, any opposition to their view will be met with a strong EMOTIONAL response by the indoctrinated person.  I don't suppose you have ever seen an emotional amerikan was the flag both literally and figuratively.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The day to leave the fascist state finally arrives.

I had my visa and my airline tickets, but I still had a lot to do.  First, I could only take two suitcases with me which meant I had to get rid of all of my remaining possessions.  Many of my small things like kitchen utensils, stereo and records (yes, vinyl records), I gave to John Potts' handyman.  That is the same person who was always walking around with a shotgun threatening to shot me.  But he didn't know any better and was so poor that he and his family could use any help they could get.  The larger items I just left in the apartment for John Potts.

I tried to sell my car in the local paper, but the response was poor and I didn't have a lot of time to waste so I finally went to a local car dealer who bought it for about a third of its actual value.  With the sale of my car, I needed to rent a car for my last couple of days in Rolla and for the drive to the St. Louis airport.  Unfortunately, none of the rental agencies would rent a car and allow me to drop it off at the airport.  Probably there wasn't a big demand for cars going to Rolla and therefore all rental agencies required that I return the car to Rolla.

When the day of my flight to Mexico finally arrived, I drove to the St. Louis airport, parked the car and dropped the keys in an envelope and mailed them along with the car's location to the Rolla rental agency.  I figured there was nothing they could do except bill my credit card for their recovery cost and since I was not planning on coming back to amerika, I really didn't care what they did.  It didn't seem likely that the rental company would find me in Cuba and pursue trying to collect the cost of recovering their car.  I dropped the envelope in an airport drop box and proceeded to my scheduled air flight.

Since this was pre-9/11, I had no problems with my luggage nor with boarding my flight.  Once on board the plane, I sat back in my seat, relaxed and then began my first leg of my flight to Havana via Mexico City.  Several hours later, we landed in Mexico City without incident.  I took a cab to the nearest hotel I could find to spend the night and prepare for my next day flight to Havana.

Monday, November 26, 2012

In A Prison With No Bars

"COWARDICE asks the question 'Is it safe?'.  EXPEDIENCY asks the question 'Is it politic?'.  VANITY asks the question 'Is it popular?'.   But CONSCIENCE asks the question 'Is it right?'.  And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but must take it because one's conscience tells one that it is right."   -  Martin Luther King

With my Cuban Visa in my hand, I got in my car and started back to Rolla, MO.  To save money, I drove straight through and only stopped once to rest for about an hour before continuing on my journey.  When I reached Paducah, KY I stopped briefly to see an old friend before I continued on my was back to Rolla.  I was exhausted when I got back to my apartment, so I called it a day and decided to go see the agent at the travel agency the following day.

The next I went to the travel agency, walked in and handed the Cuban Visa to the woman who had previously helped me.  As I handed her the Visa, I told her I wanted a one-way ticket to Havana.  She looked at the Visa, then looked at me and quipped, "You can't have a one-way ticket.  The US law requires you must have a return ticket when you leave the country."

Now I had no way of knowing if she was telling me the truth, but I wasn't planning on returning to amerika, so I restated that I wanted a one-way ticket.  Again the woman at the desk reiterated that she could only sell me a round-trip ticket.  Finally out of exasperation, I said, "Fine, I take a round-trip ticket if that is all I can get."  With that I paid for the tickets and left.  The agent said I could come back in a couple of days and get the tickets.

A couple of days went by and I headed back to the travel agency.  Remember, I had no phone for obvious reasons, and thus the agency could not call me when the tickets came in.  This time I walked into the office and approached the same woman sitting at the desk.  She looked up me and immediately exclaimed "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!"

 Having heard that question numerous times in the past, I smiled and replied "Why?"

The woman reached into her desk drawer, pulled out an envelop, and handed it to me.  "HERE IS YOUR ONE-WAY TICKET TO HAVANA!"

I relate this incident because it shows how completely The Crazies controlled every aspect of my life.  I was a prisoner who had avoided the bars of a prison, but I was still very much a prisoner.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

My journey to gain my sanity begins.

After learning that there was no protection from the lawless police, and knowing that The Crazies were going to continue to terrorize and harass me until they had gotten rid of me one way or another, I decided the best option for me was to follow the psychiatrist's advice and leave the country.  Every time since my problems began, whenever I left the country for any period of time, my life and the events in it became normal.  As a result, I started making plans to permanently leave the country.

First, I needed a country where I would be safe.  I couldn't go to Mexico because eventually The Crazies would track me down and in a country as corrupt as Mexico, I would never be safe there for a long period of time.   Besides, Spiritual Adviser Bishop Jordan did tell me that The Crazies would follow me and track me down.  That meant I had to go to a adversarial country like Russia or Cuba.  I had already ruled out Russia because of the cold, harsh weather, and  their difficult language.  That left me with Cuba which had a tropical climate and Spanish as their predominate language.  While my Spanish was not great, I could get by speaking and reading that language.  Thus I decided to go to Cuba.

I made a trip to a small, local travel agency (this was before the age of the internet).  When the woman at the desk asked me to where I wanted to travel, I replied that I wanted to go to Havana, Cuba.  The woman smiled at me and then politely told me that I needed a Visa to travel there and that travel there was restricted.  I said "OK, I'll get a Visa and be back."  She laughed as I left as though she thought I was some sort of a nut.

The next day, I packed a few items, hopped in my car and started driving to Washington, D.C. which was about 1,200 miles away.  I drove about two thirds of the way there the first day before I stopped to rest for that night.  The next morning I started out early and drove the rest of the way to Washington, D.C.  Once I reached the "downtown" area, I made my way to 16th Ave. NW(as best I can remember, that is the correct street) where many of the foreign consulates are located.  I was familiar with that area from my previous visits to the Russian Consulate when I was talking with them and they had offered me political asylum.  I found the Cuban Consulate easily, parked my car and walked in.  The lobby was a small, unimpressive area with an enclosed desk area where a man was seated.  I walked over to the bank teller like structure and said, "I'd like a Visa to go to Cuba."

The man looked at me intently and then asked me a series of questions.

"Were you born in Cuba?"  "No", I replied.
"Do you have family or relatives in Cuba?"  "No"
"Do you do have or do business in Cuba?"  "No"
"Do you know anyone in Cuba?"  "No"

The man sat there expressionless and then said,  "What is your name?".   I gave him my name.  He looked up at me and told me to have a seat in the lobby waiting area.  As I sat down, I saw the man get up and rush hurriedly through a door off to the side.

I sat there for about 5 minutes when the man suddenly reappeared.   He sat down and then called out my name.  I didn't know what to expect and was totally surprised when the man handed a sheet of paper and said, "Here is your Visa."  I graciously thanked him and headed for the door.

Monday, November 12, 2012


David Betraeus - another fallen amerikan hero.  Whatever one does in their personal life is their business.  But when the head of the world's largest spy/terrorist organization does something that even the dumbest of americans know would leave him vulnerable to blackmail, that is unbelievable.  Why even The Crazies after about a month at Gamma Supplies knew enough to try to set me up with another women when I was still married.  Even they knew that later they could terrorize me(psychological blackmail) and destroy my marriage after they had my testimony.  That is one of the reasons I knew that terrorizing me was part of the plan from the beginning.  That is called premeditated.  Premeditated crimes are considered the worst, sickest of crimes.  William Casey a former CIA director who loved mental torture, died from a painful brain tumor and now Betraeus resigns because of adultery from an agency that loves to destroy marriages.  That is called POETIC JUSTICE.

Back to my story.

Now that I had official documents, I knew the names of the parties who filed the phony charges.  My first step was to go in and talk to the head of campus security - the campus police chief.    As soon as I entered his office, he called in his right hand kid(probably about 20 yrs old) who was the person who had followed me around and filed all those fabulous statements like "he talked funny".   EDUCATIONAL POINT:  remember, two lying fascists always outweigh the testimony of one honest victim.  As soon as the police chief had closed the door to his office, we all sat down and the police chief began pontificating on his views of the law and his belief that he was God - well almost.  He repeatedly stated that he "didn't care about the law" or what the law said.  He was God on campus and no one was going to disrupt at speaker while he police chief.  I wasn't surprised by his typical fascist view, but even with the two lying fascists present, I was surprised at how proud he was of his position on the law.    Apparently he and former congressman Emerson were from  the same school.  Of course, he had no proof or really any reason to suspect that I was going to disrupt Statsfield Turner's talk.  He ASSUMED that and just wanted an excuse to cause me problems.

I left the office satisfied knowing that my detainment had been totally a result of phony charges and a system that has no respect for the law.  I also learned that indoctrination leads people to the conclusion that all people protesting injustice must be some sort of wild-eyed, disruptive, drug using hippie(they talk funny!) and not a conscientious, ethical, moral, hard working citizen.  If the latter were the case, then the fascist system would not have a strangle hold on justice, ethical/moral behavior and righteousness.

What did Jerry Spence say:  "What is law?  Even the law is not designed to deliver justice.  The law is not ethical.  Instead law becomes the means by which those in power, justly or unjustly, retain power.  Law preserves power - money power."

Monday, November 5, 2012

After 35 years, more terrorism!!!

It seems The Crazies have started harassing and terrorizing me again. Why?   I've learned you don't try to rationalize a motive for irrational behavior.  Look at Cuba.  For over 50 years the amerikan government has pursued an oppressive, tyrannical policy toward that country of about 12 million people in an effort to create pain and suffering among the people to force them to worship amerikan ways.  And after 50 years of a failed policy what does was does the newest GOP neo-Nazi darling Marco Rubio propose?  More severe economic oppression and tyranny.  Don't even try to figure out policies based on irrational HATRED and FEAR.

And what do the amerikan people say about Cuba?  Every recent poll of Americans, including surveys from independent pollsters, shows a majority of Americans favors lifting the U.S. embargo -- with even bigger majorities favoring an end to other embargo-era policies. Americans want to lift the embargo by a margin of 52-to-32 percent, according to a Cuba Policy Foundation poll conducted in 2001 by a nonpartisan independent polling firm. By a 63-to-33 percent margin, Americans believe lifting the embargo would be the most effective way to bring democracy to Cuba. And by a 63-to-24 percent margin, Americans want the U.S. to start a formal dialogue with Cuba now.

Support for important incremental changes in U.S. policy is even stronger. Overwhelming majorities want to lift the U.S. ban on travel to Cuba (67-to-24 percent); to allow American companies to sell food to Cuba (71-to-22 percent); and to allow American companies to sell medicine to Cuba (76-to-17 percent).  It sure doesn't sound like the ruling elitists listen to the amerikan people.

And what does the Bible say?  It says that Satan's last great empire will have three major characteristics.  1) It will persecute and and spill the blood of MANY innocent victims.  Several countries might fit that description, but the other two criteria are almost exclusively amerikan.  2)  It will reign fire from the sky on its enemies.  If you've ever been bombed by a drone, or had Napalm dropped on you or were at Hiroshima when the A-bomb was dropped, I'll bet you thought fire was reigning down from the sky.  And finally, 3) those that will not worship the empires ways will be excluded from commerce.  Look at Cuba and look at me.  The Crazies impose economic poverty and hardship on people and countries that will not worship amerikan ways.  Economic embargoes are the first and most common punitive measure used by this empire.  So don't be surprised by fascist state actions - it's there in black and white for all to read.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Names of my accusers are finally revealed - - 3rd party statements.

This time my confinement in the hospital did not result in my being stuffed full of drugs administered by the psychiatrists.  Instead, I had hardly any interaction with the staff there and my only purpose there seemed to be to keep me confined until Stansfield Turner left Rolla.  In fact I hardly talked to any of the staff and no one called me paranoid or schizo.  The only advice I got was the day prior to my release when a psychiatrist told me I "should leave the country".  In other words The Crazies were not going to stop terrorizing me until they had gotten rid of me by one of the three paths a political prisoner has:  death, prison or exile.  Since I had survived the death and prison options, exile was my only remaining option.

The next day I was released from the hospital and had to find my own transportation back to Rolla.  Fortunately I did have some friends and one of them picked me up and took me back to my home.  One of the first first things I did was try to find out how I could get a copy of the court documents that had been used to lock me up.  Finally I decided to go to the court house and find someone who could and would help me.  I don't remember how I did it, but a found a judge who I confronted with the fact that by law I was entitled to a copy of the complaint that had been filed against me.  Finally the judge relented and went and got a copy of the complaint.  Before giving it to me, the judge told me that I could not show the file to anyone else!!!!  This was a court record - supposedly open to anyone.  But to get a copy of it, I agreed not to show the file to anyone.  Of course the real problem for The Crazies was that the file gave names of the fascist who participated in making a mockery of the law.  I left the courthouse knowing I would finally find out who my scumbag accusers were.

When I read the file (which I still had until the recent theft from my apartment) I couldn't believe what I was reading.  The charges that I was going to assassinate Stansfield Turner was based on such evidence like I went to the campus office THREE times to get tickets to the event - obviously a demented act!  One on campus kiosk worker told my stalking police officer that "he talked funny".  What I think this young uneducated woman meant was that I used a vocabulary that was over her head which apparently translated into talking funny.  And then there was the copy of congressman emerson's letter to the city Chief of Police saying I was a "dangerous person" which was based on the letter I had sent to the CIA which was also included in the file.  Finally, the signers and investigators in the complaint were the Head of the Campus Police and his trusty sidekick officer.  All in all, the complaint read like a comedy skit from Saturday Night Live, but it was enough to get me locked up while Stansfield Turner came to town to spread his fascist lies.

One of the interesting things about the complaint was that no one had ever talked directly with me.  The charges were all third party based.  A state mental health office was suppose to interview me as required by law prior to sending me to Farmington,  but that never happened either.  If someone had interviewed me they would have learned that I had no weapons and no access to weapons other than a kitchen knife in my apartment.  But no one was looking for the truth; What did that editorial say? "the truth is the bane of a totalitarian society".  Every thing was third party based which in a court of law means the statements are pretty worthless.  You can see more and more why the fascist state uses the mental health route to terrorize its victims.

In my next post I finally get to confront my accusers.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Fascist tyranny at work.

A couple of days after I had obtained my tickets to see Stansfield Turner, I was returning home late around 11:30 PM.  As I drove toward my apartment, I saw a police car sitting in front of my place.  Since I knew I had done nothing wrong or illegal, the appearance of the police had to mean that The Crazies, like congressman Emerson, were at work.  I pulled up next to the patrol car and asked the officers what they wanted.  They asked me my name, and when I told them, the said they had orders to take me to Farmington, MO approximately ninety miles away to be examined by the psychiatric staff there.  With that, I was whisked off to the police station where I was held until the following morning.

The next morning, I was placed in handcuffs, leg irons and shackled.  When I asked why I was being taken to Farmington and who had filed the complaint, I was just to that they had orders to take me there to be examined.  Interestingly, I was placed in the passenger side front seat of the cop car.  The driver got in the car along with another police officer who sat directly behind me in the rear seat.  The police officers first apologized for keeping in chains and went on to explained that the unusual seating arrangement in the car was because there was concern that unknown freedom fighters might ambush the car and try to free me on the way to Farmington.  Why the police thought freedom fighters would try to free a "crazy' person was never explained to me.

When I got to the mental hospital in Farmington,  I was processed and put in a room behind locked doors.  There I would remain for the next 7 days.  I was to learn that in Missouri a person can be confined for up to 7 days before a hearing is required.  Prior to the hearing, the victim, BY LAW is to be given a copy of the complaint filed against him.  This complaint contains the charges and the person or persons filing the complaint.  Supposedly this allows the victim to defend himself at the hearing.

On about the third or fourth day, I was informed my hearing would be later that morning.  Around 10 AM I walked into a large conference room where I was seated at a table with about 6 other people who I assumed were staff members at the hospital.  At that hearing I was told that I was being confined because it was believed that I was going to "assassinate Stansfield Turner".  I really wasn't given an opportunity to refute the bogus charges and when I asked who had filed the charges, I was ignored. Then, when I asked for a copy of the complaint filed against as required by law, I was told I wouldn't get one.  The hearing concluded with the result that I would be held for several more days.  ISN'T THE OPPRESSIVE, FASCIST SYSTEM AMAZING!  Now you can see why the neoNazis avoid the legal system in favor of the mental/psychiatric system.  And most amerikans have no idea that this type of tyranny goes on all the time in the Fascist State.

As soon as you tell people that amerika is a fascist state, the automatic, conditioned response is that it is a "democracy".  Not that most amerikans are ignorant, but Hitler and Mussolini and their parties were ELECTED to office. Surprise!

In the next blog I will detail the outcome of this injustice and how I was able to finally get a copy of the court documents which were were used to lock me up. These are the same court records which BY LAW I was suppose to get before my "hearing".  

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Former head of The Crazies comes to town.

My only escape from the right-wing red necked local population in Rolla was to wander around on the U. of MO, Rolla campus.  There I could find some signs of civilization.  On one of my visits, I ran across a poster advertising a coming event: a presentation by former CIA Director Stansfield Turner.  Mr. Turner was CIA director under President Carter and was coming to the heart of Naziland to deliver a speech.  The poster said that there was no charge to attend the talk, but that you needed to have tickets which could be obtained on campus the following day.  Free and CIA was enough incentive to want to make me attend.

The next day around 10:00 AM I went to the office where the tickets could be obtained.  When I asked the woman at the desk for a pair (2) of tickets, I was told that the tickets wouldn't be available until the next day.  I  said "OK" and left the office.  On the way off campus, I checked the poster again to make sure I hadn't gotten the wrong date.  The date given on the poster was the day's date.  You will see later why I am making a point of this.

The next morning around the same time as the previous day, I went to the office and asked for a pair (2) of tickets for the Stansfield Turner talk.  Again I was told that the tickets were not available and that I would have to come back later in the day.  I said "OK" and then said I would return late in the afternoon to see if I could obtain some tickets then.  The woman at the desk said she thought they would have them for sure by then.

Around 4 PM that day, I return to the university campus and headed to the office where the tickets could be obtained.  This time I was given two tickets to the talk that was to be presented about a week later.  As I left the campus I had the feeling I was being followed, but then I frequently got that sensation because I usually was being followed.  As the old saying goes, just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean that there really aren't people out to get you.

That weekend was fairly normal and I was beginning to think about returning to Paducah, KY since it had been about nine months since I had left there and I figured by now the drug dealers probably would have forgotten about me.  I knew I couldn't stay in Rolla and I didn't have many alternatives.  Because of my poor physical health  I really wanted to move to a warm climate but I didn't have any specific destination in mind.  Any hope that I had would get blown away a couple of days later when the police showed up at my place.  Of course they showed up in the middle of the night like they always do in totalitarian states.  

More on my continuing fight for freedom in my next post.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The CIA comes to Rolla

The same day I posted the previous blog about lying and the sad state of affairs of amerikan politics, I ran across a new book titled: "How Do You Kill 11 Million People".    Succinctly, the author's conclusion was two words - YOU LIE.  Of course the 11 million people were the victims of the Nazi concentration camps.  Maybe some of you are thinking, I thought it was 6 million.  The 6 million refers to the Jews who were killed.  Another 5 million non-Jews were also executed.  Of those 5 million, many belonged to religions that did not believe in worshiping the state.  In all fascist states, worship of the country is demanded.  But some remember the Biblical warning:  "anyone who worships the beast and its image, will drink of the wine of the wrath of God".  And in another Biblical verse it states that politicians, military leaders, and the powerful (wealthy) will seek to hide behind rocks(boulders) to escape the wrath of God.  Now many in amerika think that is a bunch of nonsense, but I have some very good reasons to differ with them.

At the same time as my last post I came across this comment on an editorial page.  "The current penchant of our leaders to twist, alter and malign facts is disturbing trend.  Lies are the essence of a totalitarian society.   The truth is the bane of a society that controls rather than represents its people."

Since the fascist state decided to use the local police to harass me, and as you soon learn, to terrorize me, I'd like to quote the famous trial attorney Gerry Spence about the function of the Law.  "Even the law is not designed to deliver Justice.  Instead law becomes the means by which THOSE IN POWER, JUSTLY OR UNJUSTLY RETAIN POWER.  Law will nearly always dignify past evil as precedent rather than create justice by changing an unjust law."

There is a lot to digest in this short post so I will continue my story of persecution in amerika in the next post.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Corrupt politician's role in persecution of innocent victims.

The current political races is a sad commentary on the state of affairs in amerika.  One presidential candidate and his running mate seem to lie about every thing.  They must believe the only way to win the election is to avoid telling the truth.  This is the example Hitler set - tell a lie often enough and people will eventually accept it as the truth.  It seems in present day amerika, the more you lie, the more you are rewarded by the system.  A truly sad state of affairs, but I am not surprised.  In my ordeal, The Crazies, starting with Gamma Supplies found that lying to me was a game.  They seemed to get a big laugh out of telling me or agreeing to something and then after I had fulfilled my obligation, they did the opposite of what they had said they would do.  I always compared it to Lucy in the comic strip Peanuts, where she promises she won't pull the football away when Linus tries to kick it, but she always does to her amusement.  That was The Crazies lying to me. I must live in a different world than that of the power brokers in this country.  I prefer God's way.

Speaking of lying fascists, Back To My Story:

The use of the local police to harass me didn't particularly surprise me, yet it was unusual for The Crazies to corrupt the system at such a local level.  What I didn't know at the time, was that low-life representative Bill Emerson had sent a letter to the local police chief which said I was a "dangerous person" and that the police should keep a close watch on me.  Scumbag Emerson included a letter that the CIA had sent to him along with his letter.  The letter didn't contain any threats or implied acts of violence.  In fact, the letter expressed my satisfaction with an event and stated I was happy about the state of affairs.  Apparently, former congressman Emerson believed it was thoughts and an expression of reality that made a person dangerous.

This is how the fascist state creates a phony history about someone.  Every time The Crazies would have me label as "dangerous" in the past, it left a paper trail of the bogus charges.  But each subsequent effort to lock me up because someone accused me of being dangerous was based on the previous allegations WHICH HAD BEEN SHOW TO FALSE!  Regardless of the outcome, the paper trail of previous accusations remained in records of some sort.   And if The Crazies did eventually terrorize me, torture me or even attack me and I injured or killed someone, the fascist media who spew forth all the reports that the system knew all along that I was dangerous and nothing was done about it.  THAT PEOPLE IS ONE OF THE WAYS NAZI AMERIKA WORKS TO GET RID OF INNOCENT VICTIMS WHO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT THE RULING FASCISTS.

If it hadn't been for the subsequent court records that The Crazies tried to keep me from getting, I would never had know that scumbag Emerson was telling the local police that I was a "dangerous person".  This of course congressman Emerson did while he was pretending to be helping with my problems of harassment and terrorism.  I think most people can understand why I shed no tears when I heard of his untimely death.

And all of the above resulted in one more attempt by The Crazies to get me locked up because I was going to commit an act of violence.  The Crazies knew I was not going to commit any violence, but the charges, which resulted in the court records,  would be brought against me one more time as you will see in my next couple of blogs.

If you want to see how the ruling oligarchy works, you might find it interesting that when congressman Emerson died, out of his whole congressional district, the only person they could find to replace him was his WIFE.  Talk about keeping power in the family!

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Nowhere to go, nothing to do

I now knew the CIA was well aware of who I was.  At what point they jumped into an active role in destroying my life I will never know, but I tend to suspect that their entry may have been very early.  Regardless, their presence showed why no one was in a hurry to help me and it also could explained the intense evil presence that entered my life when I joined Gamma Supplies some 10 years earlier.  If you ever wanted to find the face of evil, Langley, VA would be a good place to start.

The harassment by tampering with my car continued.  In the summer of 1987 I drove to the Jefferson City area to see someone that I knew there.  After several hours of driving in the hot MO sun with my air conditioner running, the car started spitting water out of the AC blower vents.  I quickly got out of the car and did a cursory check under the hood, but I didn't see anything wrong.  I drove around the rest of the day and all the way back to Rolla without any AC.  When I got back to Rolla and had time to allow the engine to cool down, I did a more thorough inspection under the hood.  There I discovered that someone had twisted the drain hose that allows the condensed water to escape from the AC unit and then the culprit(s)  had shoved the hose up between two engine parts.  This prevented the water from escaping and eventually, the water in the drain pan had built up and was being blown back into the passenger compartment of the car.   Such was a typical day of being constantly harassed and terrorized.

I finally became so annoyed with The Crazies coming into my apartment and destroying my personal property that I decided to file a report with the local police.  I knew it wouldn't do any good, but it would stop Nazi apologists from asking me if I had ever reported the thefts.  Not surprisingly, the day after I filed a report with the police, I discovered that every time I went some place in my car, I would quickly have a cop car following me, and they would stay on my tail until I parked my car somewhere or I finally drove back to my apartment.  As always as soon as I tried to use the fascist system to protect myself, I, the victim would become the suspected criminal.

Something to consider:
"If anyone worships the beast and its image(the flag?) ....... he also will drink the wine of God’s wrath, poured full strength into the cup of his anger." - The Bible

Monday, October 1, 2012


A few days after I received my "no files" letter from the CIA, I received a letter from Senator Thomas Eagleton.  Included with his short note was a full two page letter that the CIA had sent in response to his request about files on me.  The letter described me  and numerous activities, actions and general descriptions of things that I had done.  As I read the letter, I couldn't help but wonder how some bureaucrat sitting in an office some twelve hundred miles away in Langley, VA knew all these things about me off the top of his head.  The people that work in the CIA must be some sort of super-natural geniuses to be able to describe an insignificant citizen off the top of their head with no files!!!  Of course the letter concluded that I must be deranged and that the CIA had no files on me.

In an incident I will describe latter, in addition to having no files on me, the CIA was able to pull a letter I had written out of thin air(or some place else!) and send it to a local congressman.  The only way I was able to find out about that action was I was finally able to get a copy of some court records in Rolla.  There in those records was a copy of the letter that the CIA had sent to congressman Bill Emerson (fortunately deceased).  As a result of his untimely death, I can mention his name without the usual retaliation.  Those court records are the documents that recently disappeared from my home in an attempt to hide the identity of other guilty conspirators.

Winter was approaching and with the cold weather, I experienced a serious deterioration of my health.  For about the next four months, I engaged in a continuous battle with bronchitis.  My health was so affected that I was not able to do much of anything.  I would have coughing spells that continued to the point that I would almost pass out and on a couple of occasions, I spit up small amounts of blood.  So if you don't believe that severe prolonged stress and mental torture don't effect your health you need to readjust your thinking.  Of course The Crazies found my illness as a possible way to permanently get rid of me.

 The harassment continued whenever I did try to go out and items in my apartment continued to disappear.  A new twist on the home invasions started around this time.  Now when I would take an item out of a dresser drawer or a closet, I would find the item had been damaged.  The underwear(again) looked like some one had taken a sharp rake and run it over the items causing tears in the material.  Of course a fascist lover could explain away the rips by saying they happened in the washing machine.  Plausible denial is always a primary tool of The Crazies.

Tampering with my car became so bad that I had to park my car at night right next to my bedroom window. The damage could have been done at any place when I was away from my parked car, but I couldn't watch it all of the time.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Getting to the root of my problems??

I will skip over some of the events in Rolla such as my hunger strike that lasted 21 days.  I sincerely doubt if some of my demented enemies in the past and present could go twenty on days without eating.  They are too weak and amerikan.  I had to end the hunger strike because my body started to dehydrate and if I tried to drink water, I would get very nauseated.  Later, I learned that some people go into dehydration when they fast.  This condition usually occurs around the 20th day of the fast.  And if you don't eat at that point, you will die within one or two days.   I was right on schedule.

I was fourteen pounds lighter after my fast, and no one in the fascist state responded to the approximately 100 letters I had sent out.  The Rolla Ministerial Alliance had told me that they would not assist as an organization but that they would let each individual member decide what they wanted to do.  So much for taking a stand against torture.  Finally, I decided that I would go to Jefferson City, MO and go the the two Senator's offices there.

The first office I went to was receptive and friendly and said they would get back to me.  The person there indicated that he thought my problems were CIA based and that the senator would make some inquires.  The end result was that the senator (through his office) seemed to affirm that the root of my problems was CIA based but they couldn't prove it.  Now I didn't know if that was true, because as John Marks points out in his book, anyone blaming their problems on the CIA gets labeled a nut case and is ignored.

Since the mental torture techniques used on my were the type that the CIA had experimented with in their demented experiments in Canada, I always considered that the CIA could be part of my problems.  To test that theory, I went to the second senator's office.  The late Senator Thomas Eagleton was very helpful.  Through his MO office we set up a test.  He agreed to write to the CIA for any files they might have on me and I would do the same from my home.  He would then send me his copy of the letter he received to compare it with the information that I got.  I thanked him for his help and headed back to Rolla.

I returned home and drafted a letter to the CIA asking for any files they held on me.  I sent it off and about two weeks later I received a one paragraph letter stating that the CIA had no files on me and that federal law prohibited the CIA from carrying out domestic operations.  The denial did not surprise me because earlier I had written the FBI and they said they had no files on me despite the fact that I had filed a formal complaint to the FBI when I was with RAM as I noted earlier in this blog.

First, it is common for the fascist government to deny any actions against a citizen and then deny that there are any files about any actions they may have taken.  I know that because there have been case where files turned up accidentally long after the events.  Usually the files about how a government agency destroyed a citizen's life turns up under some search not related to the victim.  One such case was the case of Bill Albertson whom the FBI destroyed.  His name turned up when a NBC News correspondent sued the FBI to obtain 50,000 pages of documents on a secret counterintelligence program.  Somehow the FBI failed to black out Bill Alberstson's name and as a result, the truth came out.

Second, the excuse that the CIA is forbidden by law to carry out domestic spying and operations is a joke.  It is probably ranks as one of the three big lies about fascist amerika.  You have the world's largest spy/terrorist organization in the world that funds it operations through drug and gun deals so it doesn't have to depend on congress for funding and people are suppose to believe they respect and obey the law.  Give me a break!!!  In addition, numerous people have come forth and said and verified that they had been recruited to spy domestically for the CIA.  So as I looked at the nonsense the CIA had sent me, I wondered what kind of response Senator Eagleton had received.

Friday, September 21, 2012

More car damage with no proof it was deliberate.

I waited at the garage for about twenty minutes while the mechanic and service manager were driving my car around.  When the two men finally returned, they opened up the hood, carefully took off the radiator cap and stuck a thermometer into the radiator.  I observed as the thermometer reached 220 degrees!  The normal operating temperature was around 180 degrees.  These two men had been driving around for at least fifteen minutes with my car seriously overheated.  I was furious and I couldn't help but believe that there actions had been deliberate.  NOBODY could be that stupid.

Finally I asked the men, "Have you checked the thermostat?  Why don't you replace that?"

The two men agreed to my suggestion and said they would replace the thermostat as soon as the engine had cooled down enough to allow them to work on it.  About an hour later the service manager informed me that my car was repaired and working properly.  When I finally got into my car I wondered how much damage damage had been done to the engine under the guise of repairing it.

I only had driven a few miles before I noticed the engine not running smoothly.  I had no idea what was causing the rough running of the engine (which had been running fine before I took in for repair), but I didn't have too long to think about it before I discovered the cruise control on the car no longer worked.  It too had worked fine before taking it to the repair shop.  I had to conclude that the car had been sabotaged while in the garage.  Everything was being done to infuriated me and make my emotions run out of control.  And of course, and further repairs would cost more money and help keep me poor.

Damaging personal property is a very common technique used by The Crazies in fascist amerika.  Remember all the damage that was done to my appliances and other furniture when I moved to work at RAM?  Interestingly, two months after I had the above car troubles,  the now defunct St. Louis Globe publication ran conservative William F. Buckley, Jr's editorial titled "Things to deep in mind during Reykjavik".  The editorial described how the dastardly KGB damaged the car of political prisoner Andre Sakharov when he declared a hunger strike.  Need I say more.

The men at the garage most likely were not agents for the CIA or any other fascist state gestapo type agency.  They probably acted out of some sort of demented concept of patriotism.  In the book "Hitler's Willing Executioners: Ordinary Germans and the Holocaust", author Daniel Goldhagen describes how ordinary every day Germans carried out acts of terrorism and murder against Jews because the government gave them the "green light" to do so and they had been told that the Jews were their enemy.  Amerikans are no different.  I know there were some sick people out there saying all sorts of crazy things about me in order to generate hatred.  I was once even described as a "spy'!  More about that much later.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Parallels between the US and Russian Systems

What is interesting about the time period when I became an amerikan political prisoner and was brutally tortured is that it is the same time period that Andre Sakharov was a famous political prisoner in the former Soviet Union.  Because Sakharov became the darling of the fascist media, I was able to follow his trials and tribulations at the same time I was experiencing mine.   Between 1980 to 1986, Sakharov was kept under tight Soviet police surveillance. In his memoirs he mentions that their apartment in Gorky was repeatedly subjected to searches and heists. He had his car stolen and then it was returned to him badly damaged.  And of course, he was repeatedly forcibly confined to hospitals for "treatment."  Does that sound familiar if you have been following my blog?!

Psychiatric diagnoses such as the diagnosis of "schizophrenia" in political dissidents in the USSR were used for political purposes. It was the diagnosis of "sluggish schizophrenia" that was most prominently used in cases of dissidents. The leading critics implied that the Soviet model of schizophrenia and the diagnosis was to make political dissent into a mental disease. The political abuse of psychiatry in the USSR arose from the conception that people who opposed the Soviet regime were mentally sick since there was no other logical rationale why one would oppose the sociopolitical system considered the best in the world (sound familiar?).  Maybe you are beginning to see why I tell people that the Bible's view that all governments are under the control of Satan is true and that amerika is no exception.

I should point out that when I was taking classes to become certified to teach in PA, that the Russian couple I befriended told me that inside the Soviet Union, most people were totally unaware of Andre Sakharov's plight and that he was virtually unknown in his own country.  It was only in the western world where his situation could be politically exploited was his plight publicized on an almost daily basis.  As you will learn later in a future blog, people outside the US knew of my plight.

Back to my story:
While my car was not stolen, my car was repeatedly subject of sabotage.  My car was in a repair shop the day I was fired.  I waited until that Friday to go pick up my car at the garage.  The service manager informed me that they were just completing the work and I could have it as soon as the mechanic took it for a test drive.  About five minutes later, the service manager told me that there was still a problem with the car over heating.  We walked out the the garage area where the service manager and the mechanic got in my car and took off.  I stood there a little amazed that after two days my car was not repaired.

To Be Continued:

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Just read an editorial about students at Harvard.  It is reasonable to assume that these students are bright and come from financially well-off families.  What these students believe is that if the act ethically in their careers, they would be bested by their peers who would cut corners to succeed.  The only thing these students are concerned about is success and any means to achieve success is acceptable.  The ends justify the means.

If you couple that attitude with the only law in amerika, "Might is Right" it is easy to understand how I ended up in my predicament.  Rigging a trial and torturing a peon for financial gain when you have power is completely acceptable in the amerikan system.   As it has often been stated, the only crime in amerika is getting caught.  And if you have enough power, you can't get caught!  Therefore, anything is justified.

Jack Kopac told me early on in my stay at Gamma Supplies, "the best form of management/government is the benevolent dictator".  Of course if I had audaciously pointed out that "benevolent dictator" is an oxymoron and reflects a view that working class people are slaves, I would have given him another reason to hate me.  But as I was to learn, the benevolent dictator paradigm is the reality of amerika.  To the ruling fascist elite, working people are slaves and fascist elite collectively as a class, are a "benevolent dictator".

That is how is 1987 I ended up unemployed, brutally tortured for 10 years, in poor physical health, financially poor and isolated. To the ruling fascist elite(benevolent dictator), I was "mentally ill".  What other explanation could there be for the above view of amerika?

So what was I to do.  In my future blogs, I will describe my efforts to once again use the amerikan system to find an answer to my problems.  The answer I got was not encouraging which left me with one last alternative, get a second opinion!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Isolated with no job - a bleak future

Since I did not have my car which was again at the garage for repair, Dr. Jon offered to drive me back to my apartment after I had finished packing.  A short time later as I was finishing my packing, Dr. Jon came in to tell me that he had called a taxi and that it was waiting outside for me.  The conflict between what I had been told and what was transpiring did not surprise me, since I was sure it was meant to create more anger and a strong emotional response.  Any outburst by me would only provide "proof" of how crazy I was.   I went out to the cab and for the last time, I left the company and work..

In creating the scenario to fire me, The Crazies had used every trick in their book to evoke an emotional outburst.  If I had displayed a strong emotional reaction there would have been plenty of  people to witness it.  What wouldn't be obvious is that I had been subjected to constant, continual stimulus to provoke a response to the psychological Pavlovian conditioning I had subjected to for the previous eight years.  As I reflected on how events had been orchestrated, I knew then that my purpose was to expose The Crazies for the sick, vile, pernicious evil that they are.

Once back at my apartment, I realized that I was now in solitary confinement.  I had no car at my disposal, no neighbors or friends and the nearest commercial business was about three miles away.  Not only had the maximum effort been made to evoke a strong emotional response,  but I was now left to "stew" in all of the negative emotions that I was now experiencing.

Hatred would have been a natural reaction and any hostile action on my part would have been taken as irrational.  Hatred had been the corner stone of The Crazies plan from day one at Gamma Supplies.  And they  continued attempts to evoke hatred at every opportunity.  The constant, incessant attempts to use hatred in their sick plans shows how evil these people are.  While individually, The Crazies probably regularly attended their local church in their private everyday life, they served evil and their true god, Satan.  And that is not surprising either, because Christ who presented God as love said that the god of this earth is Satan.

With no job again, the fascist state had designed at a condition to keep me imprisoned without the bars.  The fascists had created a situation where I was in "internal exile" and they were perfectly happy to keep me in that state until I died.  I didn't have enough money to flee the country and my physical health was too poor to allow me to work even if I could escape.  And, in my current state, my economic condition would deteriorate to the point that I would become just another rambling, crazy bum.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

You can see how far to the right conservatives, elitists and lunatic groups have pushed this country by reading the following quote by a past Republican and General:

  Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron. 

  Dwight D. Eisenhower, From a speech before the American Society of Newspaper Editors, April 16, 1953
  34th president of US 1953-1961 (1890 - 1969)  
 Five Star General

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Failing health and no job.

Current events:  What kind of people would lack the common sense and wisdom and schedule a large convention in Florida in late August?  Ans:  The same people who have created a failing fascist, barbaric system.

As a result of ten years of brutal mental/psychological torture, my physical health could not deal with the rigors of working full-time.  As my physical health continued to deteriorate, I had to take repeated rest breaks at work.  I would be working in the laboratory and I would become so fatigued that I had to go back to my office and sit down.  At times I had trouble staying awake.  It was obvious that if I continued to try to do a good job, my health would eventually fail me in some way.

Of course I was still being subjected to daily doses of harassment and the owner, Dr. Jon played a bigger and more active role in the orchestrated events.  For example, Dr. Jon had scheduled a meeting in his office around noon, three of four days in a row.  Finally, on the day I took my car in for repairs and had asked a co-worker for a ride to the shop late in the afternoon, Dr. Jon decides to schedule a meeting for 4:15 PM.  While the two actions may appear coincidental, it was a continuing repeat of creating conflicting interests and/or meetings that began with Gamma Supplies and continued at RAM.  You can go back and read about how an emergency meeting was called at RAM on the morning of my house closing.  This was a classic "no win situation" or as psychologists call it, "a psychological double-bind".

At first I wasn't too worried because Dr. Jon's meetings were usually short and the garage which closed at 5:00 PM was not far away(Rolla is a small town physically as well as mentally).  Four of us gathered in the conference room and Dr. Jon started discussions on any and every thing under the sun.  At first I thought maybe he was just trying to be a good manager by showing interests in different areas of science and non-science topics, but after about fifteen minutes, it became obvious, the he was just dragging out the meeting.  Finally, at 4:55 PM, I interrupted him and said I had to leave to pick up my car before the garage closed where my car was being repaired.  Dr. Jon acted annoyed and then dismissed the group.  I made it to the garage just as they were closing the doors - I got my car.

While my concerns about my physical health continued to grow, they were totally unwarranted.  Several days after the car/meeting incident, Dr. Jon came into my office and said he wanted to speak to me in his office.  His approach was the same as the one he had used a week earlier when he told me he wanted a monthly plan from me and then totally ignored my efforts when I handed it in to him.  I immediately became suspicious and wondered if I was going to be fired as we walked toward his office.   Once in his office, Dr. Jon wasted little time in saying "things weren't working out and that he "had made a mistake".  He then told me to pack my personal belongings in a box and then he would escort me to the door.

With that I got up form the chair, walked to my office and handed Dr. Jon a copy of a letter I was going to send to Rambo Raygun(Ronald Reagan) when I got fired.  Obviously I was prepared.  I then walked halfway down the hall and read the letter aloud.  Several employees in their offices came out to the hallway and listened intently.  When I completed reading the letter, I returned to my office and began packing my personal items.  Dr. Jon said nothing; he was like many other people before him in that it was probably the first time he had seen what a really sick fascist state amerika is.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Limit income and create expenses = a life of poverty

Apparently I am getting to information that The Crazies and the fascist state really do not want you to know.  I recently discovered that key pages from my manuscript are missing and an official court document which was about the only proof left of what the sick bastards did and still do to me was removed from my apartment within the last year.  Without my copy of the court document, The crazies can now alter or remove the last official document of what was done to me and the delete the names of the Nazi sympathizers/perpetrators.  But stick around because I will definetly tell you how the sick bastards of this fascist state operate.

Continuing With My Story:

With my first couple of paychecks, the first in two years, I had much need repairs done on my car.  Tampering with my car had always been a favorite fascist state technique and I never knew for sure if a mechanical problem was normal or caused by tampering.  This is typical for a political prisoner since never being able to tell what is “real” and what is “fabricated” is a standard gestapo procedure in making a person look crazy.  For a refresher on this technique go back to the blog where I described the experiments done on dogs – is it an oval or an elipse?

The problems with my car were becoming more serious and although I was reluctant to make an appointment, I finally took my car to a local dealer.  I expected the fascist state to have the mechanics act incompetent and then have me repeatedly take the car back into the shop to have the same problem repaired again.  Once when I was at RAM, I had to take my car back five times to the dealer where I had bought the car in an attempt to get a minor problem fixed.  In that case, I ended up repairing the car myself.  You can imagine my surprise when I went back this time to pick up my car and found the work had been completed.  I couldn’t believe things had gone smoothly

My joy was short lived.  As I drove back to my apartment, the car overheated as badly as ever.  I had spent over one hundred and sixty dollars(1986) for services on my car and the problem was as bad as ever.  If the mechanic had taken a five minute test drive, he would have known the overheating problem still existed. That weekend, I replaced the thermostat and flushed the radiator to correct the problem.

A common fascist state procedure is to keep their torture victims poor.  Without money a person is removed from society.  The first step to keep me poor was to terrorize me to the point that I couldn’t work and if you are not from a wealthy family, you must work to have money.  Second, The Crazies constantly created expenses by tampering with my car, stealing personal items from my apartment and as you will see soon, by creating expenses through situations that they created through lies and manipulation.

Friday, August 17, 2012

Harassment From the Top

The owner of the company had pretty much remained distant from the harassment I was being subjected to at work until the middle of the following week. The owner called me into his office around ten thirty and said he wanted me to draw up a monthly plan for the coming month of August. He went on to explain how I would progress to a six month plan and then to a one year plan at some future date. There was nothing unusual in his request except that he repeatedly insisted that I hand my monthly plan to by the end of the day. I told him that I would have no problem meeting his request and that I would get back together with him mid- afternoon with my monthly plan. He said that would be fine.

I went back to my office and worked on the monthly plan for about an hour and then took a short lunch break. That afternoon I did some work in the lab and then went back to my office to put some finishing touches on my monthly plan. I added some six month objectives at the end of the plan to let Dr. Jon, the owner, know I knew how to draw up long term objectives.

It was about two PM when I went to Dr. Jon’s office to hand in my work. I was surprised to find his door locked. Since it was still early in the afternoon, I went back to my office and then returned to the lab to do some more work.

Later that afternoon I went back to Dr. John’s office to deliver my plans for the month. Again his office was dark and the door was locked. Finally, I went into the reception area and asked the receptionist if she knew were Dr. Jon was and when he would be back.

“Oh yes,” the receptionist replied. “Dr. Jon left at noon to go on a vacation with his family. He won’t be back until Monday morning.”

I stood there momentarily stunned. The whole request for the monthly plan was nothing more than an orchestrated harassing incident. Dr. Jon had known all along that he wouldn’t be in his office that afternoon or for the next couple of days. The incident was just another of the constant stimulus to my nervous system.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Stress Continues to take its toll

I spent that weekend alone and had almost no contact with anyone else except John Potts and his hired hand.  I tried to avoid the latter since he was uneducated man with very little skills and at times seemed a little strange.  He kept pointing his 410 shotgun at me and kept insisting I take a walk with him in the surrounding woods!  I decided one grave in those woods was enough and stayed in my apartment.

The next week at work, the owner of the company was back in his office.  When I spoke with him, to my surprise he expressed satisfaction with the work I had been doing.  He also informed me that I would now be reporting to a female scientist who had been with the company less than a year.  Of course the woman was the requisite female manager which any government small business loan would demand.  The fact that she was just out of graduate school with no experience in the company product area was not a major consideration.  She accounted for a "minority"  in management on the grant checklist which was critical for any government grant.  I tried to find any company documents written by her and even did a limited search for scientific publications by her without any success.  It seems her primary qualification was that she was a female.

In addition to her apparent lack of qualifications, the female manager provide no guidance or help in my work.  What work I did try to do, was met with passive assistance.  Every time I needed to use a some equipment or an instrument, someone would assist me in a very cursory manner and then act like I should know how to run the specialized instrument.   The instruments were complex and computer operated and required a fair amount of learning and experience to operate properly.  The fact that I was given very little assistance and was made to feel that the operation of the equipment was trivial generated a lot of pressure and self doubt.  However, after years of fascist state torture and belittling, I wasn't at all surprised that I was put in these no-win situations.  My experience told me that expectations in regards to operating the complex scientific equipment was totally unrealistic, and when I did a survey of the personnel at the company, I found very few if any of the scientists had a firm operating knowledge of the equipment.  Yet somehow I was suppose to be able to operate the equipment instantly.

The tremendous, continual stress I was being subjected to again began to take its toll on my physically.  That Wednesday when I left work, I stopped for something to eat and then drove back to my apartment.  I turned the car off and sat there in the car for a few second just relaxing in the sunlight.  Before I knew it, I was sound asleep and didn't wake up until 30 minutes later.  I was so exhausted, I didn't even make it to my apartment without falling asleep.  I also was starting to develop a cough and swelling and soreness in the glands in my neck.  The dread of another bout with bronchitis came over me.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Olympics and Paranoia

What have we learned from this year’s Olympics?  Well white amerikans can swim and earn multiple gold medals doing the same thing at different/multiple distances.  We also learned that amerika has a lot of good black athletes who can win medals for amerika in non-swimming events. And when americka can’t win an event, the go out and buy the athletes.  Why else would long distant runners from Kenya be attending the U. of Alaska, Anchorage?  For your info., runners from Kenya have won 25 of the last 31(male and female) Boston Marathons and the last 7 men’s Olympic 3000 meters steeplechase.  (7 different men).

The white swimmers will come back to amerika and get lots of adulation and endorsements so they can have money.  The black athletes will have their medals and the basketball players are well paid professionals.  Gymnast Gabby will get endorsements because she is young and a female.  Those are sellable points in amerika.  And finally the average Jane and Joe will bask in thrill of having amerika kicking ass.  And everyone in amerika will think the world is perfect.  I’m just saying there are other ways to look at things and they do make sense.  Remember, Hitler wanted to use the Olympics to showcase his empire and ironically it was a black athlete from amerika, Germany’s successor, that ruined his show.

Back to my story:

The fact that I was denied access to company information about products told me that I wasn’t going to be at my new job very long.  One thing you can count on with amerikans is that you can never underestimate their degree of paranoia.  Why else would so many believe the “weapons of mass destruction” fairy tale?  Of course in my case, the company belief was that I would tell everyone company secrets just like I told everyone about how the 

fascist state tortures innocent citizens.  You can see the correlation, right?

As usual, the telephone was still used to terrorize me.  While I still didn’t have a phone in my apartment (withdrawal, not isolation by terror in fascist terminology), I had to have one at my desk at work.  In one instance, the front office which was quit small, forwarded a call for the other Russell to my office.  I answered the phone and as soon as the caller started talking to me, I knew the party had the wrong person.  I asked the caller who he wanted and he said he had asked for Russell #1 and not me.  I tried to forward the call to Russell #1, but no one answered.  I took the caller’s message and hung up.  The whole incident would have been just a simple  misunderstanding except that when I took the message to Russell #1’s office, I saw him standing in the front office.  He obviously had been there when the call came and the person who took the call was Russell #1’s mother!  The whole incident had been designed to set me off in some tirade so that later, people could say I had acted “crazy”.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

That weekend I drove back to Paducah, KY and spent the weekend there. I didn't find any relief there and Ireturned to Rolla on Sunday fatigued and dreading going back to work the next day;

The next day at work the terrorism continued.  Each isolated incidence at work might seem insignificant, but when viewed collectively the result was a well orchestrated conspiracy designed to create mental confusion and failure on my part.  The net result was tremendous mental stress which could then be called schizophrenia and of course any reference to a conspiracy could be called paranoia. John Marks pointed out in his book, "The CIA and Mind Control" stated the following:  "while I was doing research for this book, many people approached me claiming to be the victim of CIA plots.  Although I listend carefully to all and realized that some might be authentic victims, I had no way of distinguishing between someone acting strangely and someone made to act strangely.  Perhaps the most insidious aspect of this technique is that anyone blaming his aberrant behavior on drugs or on the CIA gets labeled a hopless paranoid and his case is thrown into the crank file.  There is no better cover than operating on the edge of madness."  I was being made to act strangely and whoever was behind my torture was operating over the edge of madness.

A typical event at work would involve giving me conflicting directions or answers from the same or different persons at different times.  In one instance I was trying to make a small scale batch of a standard company product. I was told there was no standard written procedure(absurd) and a plant technician gave me a vague process to follow.  The chemical reaction failed when the omission of one of the chemicals was omitted.  That cost me a full days work.

The next day I repeated the reaction and this time Melvina,  a laboratory technician gave me conflicting directions about how to add the ingredients.  Since I was repeatedly told there were no written instructions, the conflicting direction were completely verbal which meant there was no proof to support my version of events.  The whole process was to make this small company appear incompetent like Gamma Supplies had been presented to me when I was initially set up.   The whole scenario infuriated me which was a desired emotional state that my tormentors wanted to create.  And there was nothing I could do about it; like most people, I had to work to survive.

Monday, July 30, 2012

New job, SOS.

My first couple of days on my new job was filled with surprises.  First the owner and director of the small high tech firm was gone from the site and would not be back for a couple of weeks.  Before he left, he gave me an assignment and gave me six weeks to complete the project.  Imagine my surprise when on the first day at work, the head of the two person tech service lab told me the the work the owner had given me to do was now to be completed in one week.  Going from six weeks to complete a project to one week in called generating stress and pressure.

Not only was the timetable drastically reduced, but now I was told that Jim would be competing with me for the successful completion of the work.  It was totally unrealistic because of the huge advantages Jim had.  First, Jim had been with the company for over a year which meant he was familiar with the equipment, procedures and personnel,  Second, he was the "manager" of the processing lab which meant he had a technician to do the laboratory work for him.  Third, the manufacturing area prepared samples for him in an effort to expedite the work.  In comparison, I was on my first day at the job and did not even have a designated work area in the lab.  Maybe it was me, but it sure looked like a no-win situation to me!

As the week progressed, Jim would occasionally stop by my office to learn about my latest results.  If I mention something of interest to him, he would appear to grab and ball and run.  And while everyone else in the area contributed in some way to help Jim, I was left to plod along on my own.

I began to wonder about the validity of the whole project since there was so much hype associated with it.  If I asked Jim for some data on his work, he would put me off and assure me that the results which had be described to me were accurate and real.  But I never saw any actual data.  When I went to his technician, Shelly who was reported to have done the work, I got the same response - no data.

OSEventually I found some data in a former graduate student's notebook and two production sheets from when manufacturing had made small batches of the product a couple of months earlier.  However, none of the date gave me any processing information which meant I was still in the dark about the material in question.  The entire situation was deliberately absurd.  I ended up drawing up my own plans and trying to work in a goal  oriented manner.

After my first week at work, I left my job feeling defeated and depressed.  Besides that, I still had to deal with the daily harassment outside of work from John Potts and his friends, and of course the constant harassment from fascist gestapo agents who still came in my apartment when I was gone.  There is no way to describe to another person what "living" like that is like.  It is hell.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

What do you expect?!

About the shootings in Colorado -  There will be stories about those who survived, about those who died and those escaped unharmed.  Then there will be endless debates about more gun control and more gun proliferation ad nauseam.   Finally there will some great conclusions about what this all means.  In other words, more bullshit.

What do you expect?  This is amerika – a very violent nation -  A nation that spends most of its budget on the military to carry out wars in countries 8, 10, 12 thousand miles away in order to destroy the target country and to kill untold number of innocent victims in the process.  This is a country with the highest murder rate of any comparable nation.  This is a country with more guns per capita that any other nation.  This is a country that sells more weapons to other countries than any other nation.  This is a nation with one law – MIGHT IS RIGHT!  So I ask you again, what do you really expect?

The only difference to the man who did the shooting in Colorado and the people who tried to torture me to death is that my captors have the power to hide their crimes against humanity.   My captors like to think they are better than the shooter but the reality is they just appear different, more socially acceptable, more affluent and live better lives.  Take a look at the personalities and descriptions of Hitler’s men like  Eichman, Mengele, Himmler, Goebbles and  see how they looked and acted. Those men acted in their society the same way as the power brokers in the present day fascist empire do.
Back to my story:

My new job in Rolla did not last long as I was subjected to harassment and terrorism through conditioning from the moment I started on the job.  The first day I walked into the office, the receptionist greeted me and signed me in.  When she saw my name was Russell, she said that they had another person named Russell working there and that she would call me by my nickname “Chip”.  I quickly informed her that Chip was not my  nickname.  She repeatedly insisted that my nickname was “Chip” and then continued to call me “Chip” every time she addressed me.  Each time I corrected her and finally insisted that she stop calling me “Chip”.  Finally she said, “Oh, it must be the other Russell who has the nickname  “Chip”.  I headed for my new office feeling relieved that she had finally stopped calling me “Chip”.

Imagine my surprise when latter in the day when talking to a new co-worker, I discovered that the other Russell with the company was the son of the receptionist and that his nickname was “Chip”.  I really couldn’t believe that the mother couldn’t tell me from her son.  But that was my introduction on my first day and it was typical of the confusing, misleading double-talk that I would experience during my short time at this job.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Meet John Brown

John Brown had grown up in the Rolla area and was an escaped prisoner who had been on the run for a couple of years.  One evening a police officer spotted a suspicious car in a motel parking lot and started check out the vehicle.  The car was in the possession of John Brown who was staying at the motel. When John Brown spotted the police officer he proceeded to shot the police officer in the leg and then made his escaped.  The manhunt was on.

John Brown was considered to be an experienced woodsman, survivalist, and an expert marksman.  Based on his reputation among the local residences, the consensus opinion was that John Brown could have killed the police officer if had wanted to and that after the shooting, he fled to the woods surrounding Rolla.  Whether that is true or not, I don't know, but from the pictures I saw of the crime scene, it would have been pretty easy for an expert marksman with a rifle to hit a policeman standing less that thirty yards away anywhere the shooter wanted.

The next day, the local police and state police were setting up roadblocks and canvassing the Rolla area for the elusive John Brown.  Within a couple of days, armed military troops numbering 300-400 had totally surrounded Rolla and had set up roadblocks on every road leaving the town.  That meant for me that every time I left or came back to my apartment, I had soldiers with automatic weapons stop me and inspect my car.  The were also helicopters flying overhead with heat seeking instruments and blood hounds on the ground searching for elusive John Brown.  Still he remained at large.

This massive manhunt went on for about a month.  Since John Brown apparently was well liked by some of the people in the area and had become a bit of a folk hero, I concluded the massive intimidating presence of the military troops and various police agencies was more for terrorizing the local population rather than a serious search for John Brown.  The fascist state loves to make examples of anyone who defies them and they use their victims as an example to terrorize anyone who might want to go against their dictates.  After all, anyone with half a brain knew that John Brown was long gone from the area.  So the massive show of force had to be to send a message to the local population much like the Kent State and Waco TX massacres were.

One morning while the lock down of Rolla was going on, I ventured into a local restaurant for breakfast.  There seated at a large table was my landlord John Potts and some of his friends.  Of course, their conversation was about how the military was going to capture John Brown.  Finally, Mr. Potts asked me what I thought.

"Well, John Brown is long gone from this area and he probably has been gone since day one.  And this manhunt here is not going to catch him."  I replied.  I continued, "Do you want to know how they will catch John Brown?   Someone on the street or in a store far from here will recognize him and they will turn him in to the police.  That is how they will catch John Brown."

About two months later, in Oklahoma City, a clerk in a bowling alley saw a man enter who looked suspicious to the clerk.  He called the police and they arrested John Brown!

Remember,  fascist state shows of force are to intimidate the weak and indoctrinated.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Hatred trumps indoctrination

Since 1998, three hundred and fifty two members of congress have left office.  Of those 352 members, 79% of them have worked as lobbyists.  That’s 4 out of 5.  That is called fascism where the members who run business and government are the same people.

Back to John Potts and Rolla, MO.  Apparently John felt comfortable telling me about the lynching of a black man since I was considered an outlaw and outsider by the fascist rulers.  Also John was very proud about the killing of a black man; it apparently made him feel amerikan.

The second incident in Rolla involving a black man occurred one evening in a local dive at the north end of town.  Even though the establishment wasn’t my kind of place, the limited choices in Rolla meant that if I wanted to be around people I had to go to what I referred to as “The Dive”.  Than particular evening I was standing around listening to the music when three soldiers in uniform walked in.  I assumed they were from the near-by Fort Leonard Wood and from their youthful appearance they probably had just completed their basic training.  Two of the soldiers were white and the third one was a young black man.

When you entered this bar, if you walked straight ahead, you walked past a series of booths on your right and small tables on your left.  If you made a left after entering, which the three soldiers did, you walked past the bar on the left and some individual tables on the right.  As the three men started to walk past the bar, a man seated in the first booth with three friends, jumped up, rushed up behind the trailing black soldier and with his foot, he clipped the back of the soldiers foot which caused him to stumble and fall.  The culprit in this case raced back to his booth and quickly sat down before the black soldier could recover.  The culprit and his three friends sat their laughing and slapping hands.  Apparently I had missed the humor in all of this because the four people in the booth thought it was really funny.  No one else in the place said or did anything.

After the black man regained his composure, the three soldiers looked around the place briefly and then turned around and exited the bar.

I was really surprised because amerikans are so indoctrinated to worship the military that I would have thought that there would have been some conflict in the man who caused the fall.  There should have been the love of the military versus his hatred of Blacks.  But this perpetrator showed no signs of conflict.  He reacted almost instantly at the sight of the black soldier and then he rejoiced at the fall of the man.  And no one said a word.  In defense of the people there, probably at least half of them didn’t even see what had happened prior to the soldier falling.  But it appeared John was right, Blacks may come into Rolla, but they never leave.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Meet John Potts

John Potts was my new landlord in Rolla.  John was born and raised in the area and apparently had inherited some land and money from his father.  John (and perhaps his father) had built small cabin like duplexes and triplexes on the forested hillsides and then rented them out as apartments.  The small complex was north of downtown Rolla and could only be reach by one pass-through dirt/gravel road which intersected with a looping main paved road much the way a diameter of a circle cuts through and interests with two sides of a circle.  The apartments were rather isolated and provided little more that basic necessities.

Shortly after I moved into an apartment, I had the opportunity to talk with John as we walked down the dirt road.  Suddenly John said "I want to show you something.  It is just a little ways off the road here in the woods."

Given my situation I was a little reluctant to go, but I followed him as we walked about 20 yards into the woods.  There we came upon a headstone of what was obviously a grave.

"This is a grave of a black man (he used the n... word).  He did some work for my father and then got into an altercation with my father because he claimed my father didn't pay him for work he had done."  Imagine a slave expecting to be paid!  Apparently the confrontation became violent, so some of the locals lynched the black man and buried him at that grave site.

John proudly went on the explain,  "A black person may come into Rolla, but they never leave."

My first thoughts was the John was just an isolated wacko, but as I was to learn, John's attitude toward blacks was the prevailing opinion of blacks in the Rolla area.  I will give you another real-life, what was then a present day example in my next post.

Of course John hated the government and all the liberal things it was doing to ruin the country.  Finally, after listening to one of John's rants I said to him,  "And how you any different from those in power.? It seems to me what really bothers you is that "they" have the power and you don't.  You don't offer anything different; you just want their power."

John really didn't have an answer for that.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Free At Last

Headlines from today's paper:  Scandal! Ripoffs! Stupidity!  Welcome to banking today!  Then I turned on the TV and there was a paid "infomercial/documentary/political" show about the "Fast and Furious" gun program.  In it, there were clips of Congressmen questioning Eric Holder and the head of the ATF about the program, how much they knew and WHO was responsible for it.  Repeatedly, the Congressment would express disbelief, amazement and bewilderment that anyone could be stupid enough to institute such a program without considering the consequences.  Maybe this is a possible breakthrough where some people in power are beginning to question the idiotic schemes of other power brokers in the ruling fascist class.

It is thirty five years later and every time I think about what happened to me I am still absolutely amazed that any group would be stupid enough to create the plan that I was involved in.  I still am unable to think of another word to describe it.  When these people were sitting in an office or around a table discussing the plan, it seem unfathomable to me that someone didn't say "Why this is insane; how can you do this?"  I just can't comprehend anyone setting out on such a plan that ended up destroying my life, causing untold pain and suffering to people around me and creating so much corruption in the system.  Unfortunately, I am just a slave so no one will ever have to face an interrogating panel of other members of the ruling fascist party.  I'm sure the psychopaths in charge of the plan claim that the end results weren't intended, but then the road to hell (their road) is paved with "good" intentions!

Happy independence day!  As a slave, I really don't know what that means, but as Martin Luther King said, "Free At Last, Free At Last.   Thank God Almighty, We are Free At Last."