Drug the victim, protect the terrorists.

About 3 o'clock in the morning I woke up and was furious at Anita. I didn't want to hurt her so I started hitting her with the pillow. As she woke up I was screaming. "Damn you! How could you let them drug me? That's why you poured my drink down the sink and nobody would give me any more wine to drink at dinner. You knew I was going to be drugged!" The whole conversation tonight was designed to make me angry at you and then they have me drugged to make sure I don't kill you. How could you let them drug me?"

Anita sat up in bed and said nothing. I continued ranting for a few minutes and then I got up. I was still a little woozy, but I made it to the couch in the family room.

"I guess I'd better sleep in here for the rest of the night," I said.

"I don't think I'm going to sleep the rest of the night," Anita replied.

The next day I was still angry at Anita, but I tried to talk to her.

"You knew they were going to drug me, didn't you?" I asked.

"Now Russell, nobody drugged you. You've just been under a lot of stress and you were tired."

"Damn it Anita. I've gone a couple of days without sleep before and I've gotten tired, but I have never passed out like that. I wanted to stay later last night and then fifteen minutes later I couldn't keep my eyes open. And you insisted that we leave the minute I finished that beer. What's wrong? Were you afraid I was going to pass out before we got home?"

"Nobody drugged you," was all Anita would say.

"Yeah I know. And nobody is tormenting me and all of this is in my mind," I said sarcastically. "It's funny how none of these things have ever happened. It's all in my mind. Isn't that nice of them though? I mean after all you've done for them, they at least try to keep you alive. They are such great people. And of course it makes it look as though I'm a deserving receiptient of all this hell. Those criminally insane bastards still are trying to make themselves look good."

I returned to work the next day and of course had trouble concentrating on anything that week. I decided to see the company doctor and ask for a leave of absence. Dr. Arnold Mengelee said I would have to talk to Dr. Iron, and then he would base his decision on Dr. Iron's recomendation. I doubted that I would be given a leave of absence because the Nazis objective was to keep me under constant stress and a leave of absence would prevent total control of my environment. However, I went to my next appoint with Dr. Iron to present my case. Of course, Dr. Iron immediately nixed the idea and said he I should stay on the job and that was the recommendation he would make to Dr. Arnold. So much for the psychiatrist helping me.


The rest of the hour Dr. Iron spent talking to Anita about having children and how she felt about becoming pregnant. As I sat there and listened, I began to wonder if Anita was pregnant. She had tried for so many years to become pregnant but had been unable to conceive. If she was now pregnant, it could not have come at a worst time. With the fits of rage and anger I experienced, a baby would not be safe in the house. I left the session with Dr. Iron with a commitment to go back to work and a new concern that Anita was pregnant.