A new approach in the effort to get rid of me.

The fact that I was now alone in the world was flaunted at me at work. Suddenly, announcements of social events such as picnics and barbeques for my work area were made very visible to me. Usually, I would see them on a coworker's desk or in a mail slot. I never personally received a notice for the events so my exclusion was very obvious. The flaunting of my social isolation by my coworkers mad it even harder to go to work.

On July 23rd, I was in my office when I got a call from Stu. He wanted to see me in his office immediately. When I got to his office, I was greeted by Stu and a doctor from the medical department. I knew something was "wrong". Stu introduced me to the doctor and then continued speaking. "We've been informed that you have written a letter to the U. S. Attorney General and they have contacted RAM through President Bill Emerald's office."

A ray of hope struck me. Then Stu continued.

"You mentioned the Ed Mann incident in your letter and there is concern that you are violent. That is why the doctor is here."

My hope was quickly displaced by disbelief as I realized the letter was going to be used as an excuse to harass me more. (If you remember, I said that I knew the Nazis next plan to get rid of me would be to try to paint me as a violent person.) I talked briefly with the doctor, who concluded that I should see a psychiatrist for an evaluation to see if I was potentially violent. It was apparent to me that the doctor had been told what his decision would be before he ever talked to me. I was then told to leave work and to take a week off until the psychiatric evaluation was completed. The company doctor recommended a psychiatrist for me to see, but I decided to find a doctor on my own.

I left work thinking about how "they" had taken one sentence out of a letter and twisted it and distorted its meaning to create problems for me. It also was becoming crystal clear that the U. S. government was a responsible as big business for the torture In was enduring.

I found a Ph. D. psychologist, who the company approved, and began seeing him for an evaluation on how potentially violent I was. After a series of meetings, he concluded I was not a danger/violent and that it was safe for me to return to work. After meeting almost daily for one week, he reported his findings to the company doctor, and I was given approval to return to work the following week.

Note: Throughout my ordeal, all analytical test that I was given, never showed any signs of psychotic behavior or any indication that I was potentially violent. Yet the psychiatrists would always declare me paranoid and schizophrenic. What it means is in Nazi america, if all tests show you to be sane, and the Nazi states wants to declare you crazy, you will be declared crazy by someone in a position of authority. I always found that fact interesting. You will see some very interesting example of this in coming blogs/events.

I was very concerned about the effort to paint me as a violent person. First, it put the entire burden of my situation on my back and totally ignored the issues I was trying to get acknowledged. But far more important was the fact that an issue was being created which could be used to incarcerate me for a long period of time. I kept thinking about how Ed Mann would probably spend the rest of his life in isolation and confined in some institution. I was truly frightened because by now I knew how really demented and twisted my tormentors were. At the same time, I was extremely angry at the attempt to make me look like a violent psychotic after all of the violence that had been committed against me. The situation was both terrifying and infuriating.

I myself had become increasingly concerned about my potential for violence. I was well aware that I had been subjected to unbelievable abuse, and I often wondered how much more I could stand before I exploded and hurt someone. I also realized that it had to be really frustrating to my Nazi torturers that I could maintain my composure under such sick conditions. I knew that to my Nazi torturers, the lives of my coworkers at RAM had no more value to them than my life had. "They" tortured for the pleasure of torture and the thrill of destroying human life and not for some social/political reason. Years later I did some in-depth study into torture and torturers. These people torture for deep evil religious and psychological reasons and not for the superficial excuses that they put forth. They understanding and acknowledgement of the demented nature of my torturers was not comforting. I really didn't know how much longer I could go without exploding.