Monday, May 16, 2011

TORTURE is TORTURE, period!

As Christmas approached, I was rapidly becoming broke and my usual conditioned dread of the holidays was increasing. The latter condition was somewhat eleviated when Donna invited me over for dinner on Christmas Eve and I then spent Christmas day with her. The fact that I had pleasant company and that it just didn't seem like Christmas with the temperature at eighty degrees greatly reduced the depression and anxiety that I had come to associate with the holidays.

In an effort to alleviate my financial burden I obtained a part-time teaching job at Broward Community College. I also obtained a "commisions only" sales position with one of the many fly-by-night outfits in the Ft. Lauderdale area. After two days on the road of unsuccessful selling, I went to see Donna. She opened the door, looked at me and exclaimed, "What have you been doing? You look terrible!" Donna's observation was merely a reflection of my again rapidly deteriorating physical condition. The next day I resigned my sales position. I was exhausted from two days of work that I could barely get out of bed. My body was still racked with pain and I was exhausted. I also was despondant over the fact that I was physically incapable of working and wondered if the Gamma Supplies threat that I would never work again was coming true.

It is interesting that after six years of incessant, brutal mental torture that the stress and torture so greatly affected my physical body. And although my physical deterioration was obvious, there was no way to prove that it was the result of Nazi government mental torture. This is why The Crazies love mental torture so much. It is almost impossible to prove. With mental torture, The Crazies can have their cake and eat it too. And any resulting symptoms that appear in the victim can be explained away with some "plausible denial".

I was able to teach the one chemistry class at Broward Community College, but even that caused me to be distressed. I taught only one class for three hours on Tuesday evenings and even that assignment taxed my physical limits. Most mornings I woke up with such excruciating pains between my legs and in my head that I could do very little work until later in the day when the pain would slacken. By the afternoon I was so exhausted that I would frequently sleep for a couple of hours and after that I might be able to do a little work. I usually would prepare lecture notes for my next class. Overall, my physical condition as a result of severe mental torture was such that I was barely able to meet my part-time teaching obligations.

No comments: